Sailing through stormy waters – helping teens understand grief

As parents, it is important you normalise grief as an emotion to help foster healthy coping skills in teenagers.

Unlike happiness and joy, which one experiences wholeheartedly, grief is often experienced in waves. (Source: Freepik)

Grief is a concept that is tough for even adults to handle. So helping an adolescent grapple with it would require a lot of sensitivity and understanding on the part of parents. For a teenager, grief could be the fallout of a breakup or the loss of a loved one. As parents, we naturally try to protect our children from pain but it is essential to normalise grief as a part of the emotion spectrum to foster healthy coping skills in teens.

Here are a few ways you can help your teen deal with grief:

* Help them understand that grief is a complicated emotion

Unlike happiness and joy, which one experiences wholeheartedly, grief is often experienced in waves. It is important to explain grief to teens using simple examples. Like, imagine colouring a picture when suddenly someone blindfolds you. The immediate feelings are that of helplessness, anger and despair. This is exactly how someone feels when they experience grief.

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* Many teens may want to share grief with their peers

Usually, teenagers feel more comfortable sharing with people of the same age group, with peers who can understand their worldview. As parents, you would want your teen to share his/her issues with you but try being comfortable with the idea of your teenager having friends with whom they share a healthy equation.

* Encourage asking questions

Adults, at times, respond out of fear and unknowingly block difficult conversations. Instead of acting on assumptions, it is better to have awkward conversations that will allow your teenager to understand abstract situations. You can tell your teen, “I want to be of help but I don’t know how much is too much for you. So let me know what you want to know and I will answer to the best of my abilities.”

* Social media can shape the portrayal of grief

How teens interact with social media also plays a role in perceiving grief. If your teen is interacting with posts that show grief as an insurmountable situation, there are chances that their mindset would mirror the posts. Parents should provide examples that facilitate hope and build courage. It can be in the form of examples of people who have bounced back from difficult circumstances, for example, through activities like mountain climbing. Parents can also go with the flow.

* Uncharacteristic responses should prompt immediate professional help

Many teenagers exhibit symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression. Isolating themselves for hours, not experiencing joy in daily activities, and maladaptive patterns of sleep and appetite can be major red flags. In such cases, parents should consider consulting a professional to provide emotional guidance and support.