Opinion Does your politics matter on a dating app? Love should be about discovery

The heart wants what it wants, and in the case of young singles today, it wants perfect ideological compatibility. If love is about overcoming barriers — of geography, class, race and religion — politics, it seems, is the stumbling block that few romances can recover from. That, at least, is the reason offered by a new generation looking for love on dating apps where, with mini manifestos on their profiles, would-be lovers are making clear their political/ideological dealbreakers.

While it’s been around for a few years, the trend appears to have solidified with the victory of Zohran Mamdani in the Democratic primary ahead of the New York City mayoral election later this year. In Mamdani’s story about meeting his wife on a dating app, many see hope of finding their own perfect matches. This practical approach to relationships, with the elimination of an entire area of potential conflict, may seem admirable, especially in these polarised times. But does it offer any room for the spontaneous combustion known as love?

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Because no matter how many heartbreaks it might cause, friction is essential if sparks are to fly. And while the good common sense of laying out the terms and conditions of a relationship right at the outset is undeniable, so is the fact that love is a journey of acceptance and discovery. It is neither a contract to be signed, nor a checklist to be filled. As William Faulkner once wrote, love happens “despite”, not “because”. It unfolds in bits and pieces, in arguments and conversations. This age-old process may lead to a broken heart or two, some unmet expectations and dashed illusions. But when a clash of wills results in a meeting of minds and hearts, it is a price well worth paying.