Opinion A Belgian royal claims he is a public servant. How about an entrance test for royals like him?

It’s not easy being king. Just ask Henri IV of France, who, faced with the task of ending the Wars of Religion and knitting his country back together, swore he would rule with “sword in hand and [posterior] in saddle”. His latter-day counterparts have it almost as tough, only with scissors in hand instead of swords; there are so, so many ribbons to cut. Guests to entertain, foreign countries to visit, and foreign rulers to schmooze and booze with. Butlers to pay. One might argue that it’s a full-time job.

The 61-year-old Prince Laurent of Belgium, the reigning king’s younger brother, made  this argument in court while trying to secure social security benefits. The 400,000-euro allowance he receives — of which three-quarters go toward the aforementioned expenses, leaving him with a still-hefty 100,000 euros as gross salary — will be stopped when he dies. This would, apparently, leave his wife and three adult children without financial security. Although the court threw out the “job” argument, it did ask legislators to consider coming up with a princely pension scheme.

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The court has reportedly placed the prince and his sister in a special category that his lawyer said was on the lines of a “super public servant”. But if there are to be super public servants (with perhaps equally super pensions), how should they be selected? Heredity hardly seems fair, so a Super Public Service Commission (SPSC) might be just the ticket. Exams on military dress uniforms and which knife and fork to use — arcane enough to make a coaching industry blossom — followed by interviews with dictators, the whole shebang. The top ranker gets a golden crown and a sceptre. Or perhaps, do away with the whole thing, leave diplomacy to the professionals and let royalty fund itself through royalties. There are surely many “spares” with stories to tell, and many more unsparing critics waiting to cringe.