Opinion Some news on etiquette

And how many times must we endure being interrupted ourselves before we decide that enough is enough,and in which case,how do we register our protest,duels to the death being frowned upon in this degenerate age?

I put the problem to you with two examples. Consider the News Hour discussing the anti-nuclear plant fast in Koodankulam. Let us suppose you are on,as an expert on nuclear physics who wishes to explain the plant’s safety. (Clearly,there are no such people in India,otherwise Times Now would surely not have asked Subramanian Swamy,who did a PhD at Harvard in conspiracy theory,to be the one defending the plant,which he did by insisting the protests were a Communist Plot.)

At what point,ladies and gentlemen,is it polite to explode in irritation? Could it be,perhaps in the first few seconds,as you are presented with a moderator exhibiting first,hubris: “As soon as we put out pictures on Times Now of the anti-nuclear fast in Tamil Nadu,the entire protest has also gone viral,from Gujarat to Haryana.” And then,obvious bias: “I’m playing devil’s advocate,Sunita Narain,just because I want both sides to come out.” And then,an apparent fondness for hip-hop: “What about the People? [pause What about the People? [pause What about the People?”

Consider,again,the News Hour that discussed the petrol price hikes. Should one break in before or after one’s fellow-panelist,expert in airline piloting Rajiv Pratap Rudy,destroys any expectation that the BJP will pilot a halfway-sensible economic policy? He said,explaining a matter of economic policy,that “Mr — Lord — Meghnad Desai — I am sorry,I would not like to comment much on what you economists have to say,because India already has a prime minister who is an economist,and we have had enough of the economists as far as these issues are concerned….” Correct. Under the BJP,the pilots will do the economics,like they do at Air India,and economists will fly planes,which I hope they don’t do at Air India.

Or should one wait for one’s moderator to come up with statements like this one,delivered with apparent assurance that nobody will ask for the slightest substantiation:

“Schemes like NREGA have been proven to drive people further into poverty.” “Proven”,no doubt,is used by the well-read moderator in the old,archaic sense of the word,which originally meant “not proven.” Or should one wait a little further,so one could be properly offended by the level of entitlement on display when the moderator says: “So much is spent on the NREGA and food security,while the middle class is asking basic questions about their cost of living.”

Should one wait till the entire programme begins to look like the more topical sort of hip-hop video? As it did on this occasion,with a duet between Rudy and Desai over petrol taxes,with MC Goswami providing the beat:

Rudy: “Is he aware of these facts?” Desai stutters. “Is he aware?” demands Rudy.

Desai tries again to speak. “Is he aware?” Rudy interrupts once more.

Goswami: “Lord Desai is rebutting

you/ Let him rebut you/ He is coming in to rebut you.”

Rudy: “I can’t hear him/ I can’t hear him/I can’t hear him.” [MC G: “You’ll hear him.”

Desai: “There are-/ There are-/ There are,Mr Rudy/ Mr Rudy/ Mr Rudy…”

Rudy: “Mr Desai/Mr Desai/ Mr Desai/ Mr Desai/ Mr Desai…”

Desai: “Listen to me/ Listen to me,Rajiv/ Listen to me…”

Rudy: “Which/ Which/ Which government in the world…”

MC G: “Let him reply/ Let him reply…”

At this point,Desai says,breaking the rhythm: “Well,if you’re not going to let me talk,forget it.” And swivels in his chair to present curly white hair to the camera. His back is expressive of disgust. If a peer of the realm does that,perhaps that’s what etiquette prescribes. Certainly,MC Goswami thought so,as he wound the beat down: “One minute Lord Desai/ One minute/ One minute,Lord Desai [here breaking into rhythmic laughter/ One minute.”

mihir.sharma@expressindia.com