Opinion Meta, Musk, and measuring contests: Men have led the world into chaos. Time for women to take over

Fair enough. Dudebros’ body, dudebros’ choice. But what does Musk imagine will happen post the contest? If he wins, does Threads surrender all its subscribers to Twitter? Does Zuck agree to ban the word “cis” from Meta-owned platforms? Do all Meta logos turn emerald green? Musk hasn’t tweeted about it, so one can assume he hasn’t thought about it.

While Zuckerberg has not responded to this new challenge, he did agree in June to a cage match, and there have been reports of both billionaires being in touch with Dana White, president of the Ultimate Fighting Championship.

Now, what does this spectacle of puerile squabbling tell us? That men are impulsive, unable to think their actions through, can’t control their emotions — and it is high time we as a civilisation question if such unstable and undependable beings can be allowed the kind of freedoms they have had so far.

While #notallmen-ers must already be at the crests of a meltdown, such important questions can’t be decided by overwrought emotions, and need the cold, hard light of data.

The richest 10 per cent today own 52 per cent of all income in the world (International Monetary Fund, 2022). A quarter of the world’s population currently lives in conflict-affected areas (United Nations, 2022). The planet as a whole is at its most fragile, thanks to the ill-thought-out exploitation of natural resources. All of this in a world that has had men in charge for as long as anyone can remember.

To imagine an alternate way of being in charge, we don’t need to look too far. Can you imagine a woman CEO spending most of her time on social media, her embarrassing posts only rivalled by her embarrassingly erratic decision-making? Can you imagine a non-male President suggesting amid a raging pandemic that we hit the body with ultraviolet light or inject disinfectant, like the most powerful man of the most powerful country did? (Donald Trump followed that statement with “I’m not a doctor. But I’m, like, a person that has a good you-know-what.” Who knows what?)

In fact, men too have far more faith in women, though their pretty little heads don’t always realise this. Haven’t they left the running of their house, the bringing up of their children, the putting of food in their bellies entirely to women? And as a result, isn’t the male population soaring and roaring across the world?

It really is time for the fairer sex to step up and take charge, for men’s own good, of course. The fouler sex is crying for help. Men need finishing schools, where they can pick up good manners, grace, deportment, and charm. They also need never-starting schools, where they can learn how not to start needless wars, senseless fights, consent-less wooing of prospective mates, etc.

Even in the mucky Zucky saga, it was finally Maye Musk, Elon’s mummy, who had to step in. “Actually, I cancelled the fight. I haven’t told them yet. But I will continue to say the fight is cancelled, just in case…,” she tweeted on June 23.

For long, the prevailing wisdom has been that men are natural protectors. It is time they focus on protecting themselves from themselves, and let the other genders do the rest.

yashee.s@indianexpress.com