You don’t have to be beautiful to read a good newspaper

Rather crude and toooooo obvious. Also, you can never imagine Saif being ‘‘taken’’ even momentarily by the likes of Jassi; what’s more, since he appeared on Thursday, and the film was to be released on Friday, we didn’t know who or what Karan was all about.

Onto this peculiar media war. First, there was a TV commercial about the The Hindustan Times and how it ‘‘makes you look good’’—an idea inspired by The Indian Express which brought reading ‘‘back into fashion’’. If the HT ad is rather unkind to balding men with large hooked noses, the latest Times of India retaliatory commercial, placed with Jassi…, suggests the ugly chap is injurious to the health of young damsels. This is an insult to the beautifully challenged, politically incorrect and hugely ironic since Jassi celebrates our heroine’s Plain Jane qualities.

Also, what exactly is being said here? Only good-looking people read TOI and ugly ones HT?

Yeh Meri Life Hai (Sony) has begun to mature into something resembling a realistic college scene. When very middle class Pooja goes to upmarket St. Martins’ College, all those characters who decorate their hair like an octopus’ garden, display tight clothing and loose screws in their upper storey, revile her for being a behenji type. Of course, these things happen but never so crudely.

Now that the director has established the difference between Pooja and the rest of her college mates, we have a real plot moving along with college elections under way. Mind you, with GE 2004 just over, polls is hardly what we want to watch.

Another serial that has changed spots for the better is Saraa Akaash (Star Plus). It began as a rather sordid account of male rivalry and unrequited love. Now, heroine Monica, kidnapped by the terrorist Red Dragon (?), is taken to Karachi, forced to mount a bus load of Pakistanis. Dragon threatens to destabilize the governments of Pakistan and India.

At this point, the producers have been influenced by Speed: Monica is made to drive the bus—and on no account must she stop until Red Dragon tells her. Meanwhile, our Keanu Reeves is on his way: Fl Lt Vikram is giving chase in a taxi.

Please thank Sahara Manoranjan for Sahib Biwi Ghulam. Sure, Raveena Tandon still looks like she should be somewhere else, preferably somewhere in Bollywood, but a good supporting cast helps out. Here, bahus in heavy saris and sprawling mansions are actively disdained by their authoritative husbands but compensated by household help. They do not cut vegetables, just sorry figures. Wonderful.

The IIFA Awards (Sony & Doordarshan) should have dispensed with the Awards and called itself IIFA’s Tribute. IIFA was one long journey down memory lane with Madhubala, Dilip Kumar, Amitabh Bachchan… Never known an other industry which salutes itself as frequently, lavishly and in public so often as Bollywood (Saturday saw the APSARA Awards on NDTV). Vivek Oberoi is obviously very keen to act with Amitabh Bachchan; he went down on his knees —‘‘plead with you’’, ‘‘honour us’, ‘‘I am deeply honoured’’. Dunno what he thought he was proposing?

Aaj Tak prides itself of being ‘‘sabse tez’’. However, on recent showing it will have to change the slogan; during the Sonia saga, government formation and distribution of portfolios, NDTV was sabse faster.