We Are Family

A family,spread across continents,comes together for a day.

A family,spread across continents,comes together for a day

Its a winter evening in the hills of Bhagavadgita near Talacauvery in Coorg district,Karnataka. A bonfire crackles in front of a modest lodge,where about 70 people have gathered with no purpose other than to be together for 24 hours. Ananda Milana is an annual ritual into its fifth year,bringing together between 60 and 150 people of all ages from two families woven into one: the first originally from Hanagodu,a village in Mysore district,and the second from Salgame in Hassan district. Fittingly,they have assembled this year at Talacauvery,believed to be the place of origin of the Cauvery,whose tributary Lakshmana Tirtha makes its way eastward through Hanagodu. Next year,they plan to meet at Hanagodu itself,where they recently acquired back some of their ancestral property.

HV Venkateshiah,84,is the head by default,he likes to say,of this endearingly unwieldy bunch,which includes appendages of the family based in Nigeria,Singapore,Delhi,Bangalore,Hyderabad and Mysore. A slim figure in a navy suit,Venkateshiah is a permissive patriarch: he croons a 1940s Suraiya song but smiles appreciatively when some pre-teens launch into Kolaveri Di. The family has always been broad-minded and secular. My grandfather S Krishna Rao,who married Venkateshaihs sister SK Gangamma,was a lawyer and he took charge of the education of all the youngsters in the family, says Shivananda Salgame,47,one of the guiding forces behind Ananda Milana.

The meet itself,with its winding walks and night-long games of cards,subsumes differences in age and attitude. When 82-year-old HV Nagappa,the designated conductor of family housie games,reads out with much rhyme and pageantry the first lucky bingo numbers,it is the youngest participants,clutching a paper ticket and pen,who hang on to his every word. In his indomitable baritone,Nagappa silences a campaign from the back rows against a false claimant to the full house prize,and 10-year-old Meghana,his granddaughter,cranes her neck to see the drama unfolding onstage. Nagappas wife is called Nagamani. Thereafter,everyone in their branch of the family has a name starting with the letter N, says Venkateshiah,over pakodas and coffee.

We make it a point to attend Ananda Milana every year. Living in Delhi,we tend to be cut off from the rest of the family in the south, says Manjula,wife of Nagendra,CEO of an energy company and one of Nagappas sons. Manjula is glad there are no cellphone towers around Talacauvery to eat into Nagendras time with the family,the yearly antidote to his corporate hangover.

The next morning,between a hearty breakfast of kadubu,poori and halwa and a heartier buffet lunch at an ashram,the Hanagodus fight off sleep to engage in friendly banter. Someone jokes about the familys appetite for fine food: We only like fried food. Here,you take the idlis and let me have the vadas. A young man cautions the elders to take it easy only to be met by a snappy comeback: Buddha kisko bola? Like in a layered cake,the generations rest one on top of the other,together bringing out the best in one another. n

V Shoba