Filmi like us

Last week,news channels took out precious time from the latest leak sprung at the Commonwealth Games,the violence in Kashmir,to inform us that Vivek Oberoi has finally met his match. And it is on Hindi news channels like Star News,Aaj Tak,India TV that you hear the latest songs sung by young contestants on the new season of Chhote Ustaad,Star Plus (more of that a little later).

But the influence is far more pervasive. Look at what they’ve done to Swaroop Khan. When he made his first appearance on Indian Idol (Sony),he looked like he belonged to the place he had come from: the outback of Rajasthan. He had a shy innocence about him,a lack of urban sophistication — and we’re not saying this just because he came dressed in dhoti-kurta-pagdi. For all his gentle mien,there were rough and rugged edges to him which made him unique for the show. When he opened his mouth to sing,it was a folk song from Rajasthan.

Last week,he was wearing a sequinned jacket and yodelling a Hindi film song,with a swagger to his movements that reminded one of Shammi Kapoor. This is what three months of the show has done to him. This week,he has been eliminated from the contest but now he is no longer the Khan we were introduced to. He has travelled so far from his village that going back will be well-nigh impossible. His future lies in a different direction.

Onto the next victim. TV serials. Watching Baat Hamaari Pakki Hai (Sony) was like watching Hum Aapke Hain Kaun!… The entire episode was a film wedding song-and-dance sequence. First,the guys danced to Desi girl. They were joined by a lady who swung her hips like a trapeze from left to right. She was replaced by women swaying to Dhoom machaa le. On Colors,they were telecasting repeats of Uttaran: in one episode,the entire sequence seemed to have been conceived and staged so that Maa from Taare Zameen Par could play in the background. You will find similar scenes in almost every single serial — like a jukebox,you just take your pick and a Hindi film song will pop up with a TV soap.

On the weekend,on the entertainment channels,you will find yourself right in the middle of another Bollywood film,or the same one that you have watched every weekend since the year began: Jab We Met,Bhoothnath,Hera Pheri being all-time favourite repeats. But gone are the days when Amitabh Bachchan cast his shadow across the screen; he’s still around but now we’re seeing more recent releases. A fortnight ago,3 Idiots made its TV premiere on Sony; last Sunday it was Raavan on Colors. And that’s really recent. As for the music channels,barring VH1,they’re film music video channels,when they’re not Splitsvilla or Roadies. That leaves only cartoon networks,sorry,kids channels,to wage a lonely war against Bollywood domination.

Back to Chhote Ustaad: it is different. Here’s how: it has Omi ‘Chatur’ Vaidya as a host behaving rather like an idiot,the least you can expect from the actor who made a name for himself with 3 Idiots. It’s got 10 kids each from India and Pakistan. It’s got Rahat Fateh Ali Khan from Pakistan as a judge alongside Sonu Niigaam’s magnificent locks. You should see them (the locks): springy coils on either side of his head. Can’t take your eyes off them. Wonder if it’s distracting the contestants too.