Wave theory in quantum politics

I nodded enthusiastically, amazed at his perspicacity.

"You may know," he continued, "that the wave theory was first propounded by our ancient rishis and has recently been delineated by later-day physicists such as Dr Murli Manohar Joshiji, L.K. Advaniji and Uma Bharatiji."

I didn’t, but nodded anyway.

"The theory, which western scientists only recently discovered and formulated, holds that light is propagated through ether by a wave-motion imparted by the molecular vibrations of the radiant body," said my political friend.

"I get it," I said, although, to tell the truth, I didn’t.

"The radiant body in this case, in case you did not already know it, is the BJP, which in this present cycle of karmic time has assumed the avatar of a lotus."

"What are these molecular vibrations?" I asked tentatively, deeply conscious of my abysmal ignorance.

"Friend, you are too impatient," said the swayamsewak. "There is a place and time for every doubt. Before I go on, I need to state one thing clearly. As you know, our party did not desire elections. However, we have always believed that things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out."

"That is indeed profound. Can I write that down please?" I asked, very impressed.

"Take this wave," he went on. "Do you think it was ready, standing like a horse waiting to be ridden?" He laughed, a short yelp of amusement, and then went on. "Everything is the fruit of one’s labour. The rest is all maya."

This confused me a great deal. "Is it all illusion then, this wave? Or is it all hard work?"

"You are not understanding, my friend," said my guide. "Your state of darkness indeed evokes amusement in one." And he chuckled three times to underline that. "The point is that creating a maya is itself a hard task. Remember, before an able leader forms a stable government, it is a case of able media management creating stable party prospects."

I still didn’t understand but decided to let it pass.

"You had earlier put to me a query as to what these molecular vibrations were, did you not?" he asked.

I nodded and waited expectantly.

"Our molecular vibrations emanate from various sources." At this point, he whipped out a natty little laptop. "You may now login to bjp.org, a website created by our overseas supporters, who have left Bharat Mata for purposes of furthering their personal prosperity but carry her image wherever they go. They, although videshi, are 100 per cent swadeshi. As our ancient rishis have said, the world is indeed a global village."

I logged in to the website as instructed. Suddenly the refrain man mein nishchay Atal ho hit me like a tidal wave. It was an impressive performance, I had to admit.

My friend explained, "The phrase, as you no doubt know, means `be firm in your resolve’. But at a deeper level it means, `be firm about voting Atal Behari Vajpayee in". This is the chamatkar of our vibrations — dhoondte reha jayoge. They touch you below the threshold of sensation, near the atma. Our rishis called it subliminal advertising."

"Good idea," I said, completely floored. "But what are the issues you project?"

"That is an excellent query, my friend," said the swayemsewak. "But the answer is really quite simple. We tell people what they want to hear."

"But with so many voters, this must be an incredibly difficult thing to do," I said.

My friend whooped with laughter. "Ah, but don’t forget, there are so many of us within the parivar. If one of us says, Kashi, Mathura baki hai, the other totally denies this. This way, we keep our supporters happy, while our Mussalman brethren are also kept satisfied."

"But is this a moral thing to do?" I asked, totally perplexed by now.

"What is morality, my friend? It’s as much an illusion as our molecular vibrations," said my friend, yelping once again in laughter, as he hurriedly rushed off for a party meeting with a wave-like lope.