Tied by the bonds of tragedy

DAHIBARA VILLAGE, ERSAMA, OCT 24: For any woman in this part of the State, widowhood only after two months of marriage is as good an end t...

DAHIBARA VILLAGE, ERSAMA, OCT 24: For any woman in this part of the State, widowhood only after two months of marriage is as good an end to all good things in life. But for Sabita Jena, who lost her husband in the devastating cyclone, faith in life was reinforced after she dared to re-marry.

Sabita has not tread this path alone. In Ersama block, there have been seven such cases of widow re-marriage, four of them in this village alone. And in all these cases the couples decided it on their own.

This has come as a big boost for the Government and the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) which had started community based rehabilitation for widows, orphans and the aged through Mamta Gruhas. Says UNICEF’S district support officer Rekha Ebrahim, “These are the sunnier sides in the aftermath of a devastation and encourage the re-building process.”

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However, Sabita’s was a unique case in that she eloped with a bachelor, Shaktipada Jena after her father, who had earlier decided to marry off his widowed daughter to the same boy, backed out from his promise under pressure from relatives. But both of them decided to defy society.

While Sabita’s parents have cut off all ties with her, Shaktipada’s family supports him. “I have no regrets about what I did and I am very happy now,” says the 22-year-old as his shy wife nods in agreement.

Then there is Raj Kishore Das(35) and Minati Das (25). Raj had been married 14 years and had three sons and Minati a three-year-old daughter. Both lost their spouses in the cyclone and the strength to survive. But after they met at the Ersama block office a few times while applying for death certificates of their kin, they found they shared things in common. They finally married in June despite opposition.

Twenty-seven-year-old Parvati of Jhatipari village lost 14 members of her family including her husband in the cyclone after which she stayed at her in-law’s place with her daughter. There she met her brother-in-law Nabaghan Ghadai who had lost everybody except his two daughters.

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Parvati’s elder brother had promised to marry her off elsewhere if she did not claim a share of the property. But Parvati refused the offer fearing a bleak future for her daughter. As a result, she faced stiff opposition from her family when Nabaghan proposed to her. The two went ahead nevertheless.

But not everybody has recovered from the tragedy. Renubala Patra of Hanagotha village has not been able to overcome the trauma of losing her five children. A widow of eight years, she had finalised her eldest daughter’s marriage a few days before the cyclone. But fate had other things in store.

She now looks after two orphaned girls, a boy and a widow in the house provided by Action Aid. But when asked if she will adopt them, Renubala fumbles and stares vacantly.