The Diwali countdown show

To go wild8230; on a shopping binge!: That goes without saying. You have always had the inclination, you could have always taken out time, but now you have the money too. And with all the discounts and freebies, what more do you need?

The perennial hope for goddess lakshmi to arrive: With the bonus got and spent, we all need divine intervention to get us through the following days. The prayers said, the doors left open, the celebrations continue8230; what was that noise, could it finally be HER?

The excuse to kick that vicious diet: Your tastebuds knew it was all wrong, but now8217;s the golden opportunity to let them have their way, and just dig into all those goodies. Didn8217;t Garfield say that the direct approach is the best approach?

Pampering your body beautiful with utna: So what if you have to do it yourself. So what if you get tired in the process of massaging yourself, relaxing, after all, is no easy job.

Receiving gifts: Ah! Imagine the joy of first receiving a wonderfully-wrapped package, then guessing what it might contain, hoping it to be the thing you dreamed of and then opening it8230; that8217;s where the joy of receiving ends, for more often than not the hope far exceeds the package.

Time to remember that you have a family: Okay everybody, wake up now! Hibernation over, it8217;s time to surface. Blink your eyes for a while, and then get used to8230; not the sunlight8230; but those people called family-members. And suddenly you have a whole lot of people you can turn to, expect from, borrow from8230; after all, they are family!

If you ever identified yourself with yudhistra, then now8217;s the time to give vent to that dormant gambler in you: This is the only time your wife will not nag you for throwing away money at the card table. So why not make hay till Diwali shines.

Gossip updates: With aunts and uncles, cousins and rest of the clan in tow, it8217;s time to yield to that delightful activity called chit-chatting8217;. Did you know that so-and-so8230;. and that this one was8230;. but she told him who told me8230;. it8217;s okay, folks, you have a legitimate reason to know what your kith and kin have been upto, right? Bingo!

Spring cleaning: Now you can8217;t get too lucky. You have to sweat it out to have a good time. So console yourself. Think of all the compliments that8217;ll flow in, when guests walk into a squeaky-clean home. Guess some things they taught in kindergarten are true. And who knows, you could just tumble in on some dark secret hidden in the back drawer of some closet8230;

Getting back to work after the chutti: Now that is difficult. But it has to be done, especially if you want next year8217;s bonus. So, the best approach is to adopt a philosophical attitude, shut the lids on sweet-boxes, give the remaining crackers to nearby kids, send off your new clothes to the dry-cleaners, and get down to work8230; that8217;s waiting for next year8217;s Diwali, incidentally.

Waking up at the crack of dawn on a holiday: You don8217;t have to rush to the bathroom to catch that 8.30 a.m. bus, you don8217;t have to get dressed to go to work, but you have to wake up early just because your forefathers did the same every year on this day. But look at the flip side 8211; you8217;ve got a good chance of finding out what a sunrise looks like on a holiday.

The electricity bill: This festival of lights does look good but when the MSEB posts the bill, you suddenly find yourself agreeing with all those eco conservationists who scream themselves hoarse about the need to conserve electricity.

Discovering members of the PMC: You8217;ve spent all you had and then you have this baksheesh brigade turning up at your doorstep, demanding their pound of flesh. And so what if you never get your letters on time, have a phone that8217;s dead most of the time, have garbage piled on the street. Not only do you have to be grateful for this service, you have to show that gratitude with some crisp notes.

Contend with the sick feeling of having eaten too many sweets: Okay, okay, you let your greed loose, now is the time for your digestion to extract sweet revenge.

The noise and smog that follows the firecrackers, also the debris: So you enjoyed noise of a different kind, but old habits die hard and now you yearn for the ruckus created by your neighbourhood traffic. This is the time you also realise that the diesel fumes are preferable to the smog that the firecrackers left behind.

Cleaning up after the guests have left: You8217;re drunk, you8217;re giddy with all that laughter, stuffed with all those goodies and all you want to do is flop down on the bed. But there8217;s this nasty little job of clearing the ashtrays, cleaning the dishes and cursing sloppy guests8230;

Diwali specials8217; in newspapers, mags, shopping trends, tv programmes 8211; AD nauseam 8211; that say the same they did last year and will the next year hear! hear.

Smiling till the jaw hurts: God! Why can8217;t one say Happy Diwali with a frown?