Talking too much

For example, he spoke about cohesiveness in a coalition, the "pulls and pressures" from outside (read Congress), a price hike in petroleum products, corruption, Pakistan, Kashmir, the longevity (or should we say, brevity?) of the Gujral government. Sounds familiar?

There were some new topics: the disagreements over the Women’s Reservation Bill, trials by the media (which the PM deplored), illiteracy, the gap between the rich and the poor, subsidies. Mr.Gujral was soft-spoken, cool except when Singh said that apart from democracy, which had taken strong root in the country, India was lagging behind in every respect. Gujral disagreed vehemently, citing the growth of the great Indian bazaar, which had us all baffled.

Gujral seldom allowed S P Singh to complete a question. Canny manoeuvre. He would answer before Singh could deliver his punchline, thereby changing the tenor of the question.

Also, he excelled in giving an almost identical reply to almost every question: his favourite word was "buniyaadi", his favoured theme you cannot change things by laws, you have to change society, carry people alongwith you. Yaani ki, consensus: in governance, on the Women’s Bill, price hike…The PM would be well-advised to shun full length interviews until he has something new to say.

Coincidentally, Aaj Tak (DD2) anchored by Singh, was celebrating 500 episodes. Is khushi main the show got politicians (and other celebrities) ranging from the PM to Laloo Yadav to give it glowing testimonials. Strange. Kiron Joneja (The Kiron Joneja Show, STAR Plus) meanwhile, should ask herself how she interprets the role of talk show hostess. So far, she seems to think it involves transporting the microphone. She looks pretty but she was pretty clueless about the subject at hand-sex education. She desperately needs a few lessons.

She could apply to Vir Sanghvi for instruction (A Question of Answers, STAR Plus). He knows his subjects. And his mannerisms remind you of a school teacher disciplining his pupils or a sergeant major marshalling his troops; he puts up his hand, he lifts his finger, he wags it. "Now let’s take a question from the audience…", "now let’s look at the poll" he commands. Otherwise, the show is well worth a dekho.

Joneja should also watch Rosie O’Donnell (Larry King Live, CNN). One of the most popular talk show hosts in the USA, she has a double chin resting on a thick, short neck, succeeded by an ample bosom and soft belly. Her face is round (and rosywouldn’t you just know it!) her eyes small, her nostrils somewhat splayed. In other words, she’s not quite ready to enter the Miss World Beauty contest. But it doesn’t matter: she is witty, spicy, sharp and entertaining.

Telebrands (DD1) is entertaining too, though a bit long in the telling. What DD is doing promoting a `Super Slicer" in such a major way, is the kind of question which should be raised in Parliament (only joking!). Two guys, a cook (?) and Mike-the-presenter, get quite hysterical describing and displaying the qualities of the super slicer. One is that if you place it under a running tap it will washno pain, no shame. Another is that it slices onions, oranges, cucumbers, capsicums. A third is that it shreds cabbage. All this and more (including a juicer) costs only Rs 1,200. But hold on: for Doordarshaners, it’s only Rs 799! Mike almost fell back in horror at such foolish generosity, while the audience swooned "Ooh, Aah" and pumped the air with their fists. All over a slicer.

The French Open Tennis Championship is missing because ESPN isn’t feeling so generous. Nor are cable operators. They’re fighting over a price rise (isn’t everyone?). If it had been cricket involving India, the matter would have been settled quickly. Now they’ll battle it out in perfect acrimony until one of them has what Brian Langely (STAR Sports) in another context, described as a "love match".