Starry knight

At the far end of the spectrum, my wife found all this passe and was more into the robust Khans, Roshans and Aftabs, representatives of what I call the "jing bang" MTV and V culture. She would repeat that beauty was all about the more figure-conscious Madhuris, Urmilas and Aishwaryas. And that comedy was the exclusive preserve of Govinda, Johnny Lever and Kader Khan.Our arguments on this issue were endless; yet we were adept at maintaining straight and smiling facades when someone arrived in the midst of a raging argument to which the confines of the walls would usually be privy.

The presence of the Idiot Box only added fuel to fire. My wife would cling to her dear remote whenever any channel beamed a new film while I beat her at this game like India manages to beat Australians in the one-dayers. At the sight of Hrithik Roshan, she would go weak in the knees and would swoon at Shah Rukh Khan’s "magnetic smile". My cynical expressions only made her more vocal: that I was overtaken by the green-eyed monster and had no class.

I would retort that her fondness for new films betrayed the immature streak in her, that her proclivities lay with style that had little or no substance. She would be so transparent in her thoughts that I could hear her even before she exercised her vocal chords. "Did any fan ever write a letter in blood to the stars of your times? Were there die-hard fans who would see films 30-40 times? Just to see Hrithik Roshan’s cherubic face?"

"Those were the days when precious celluloid wasn’t wasted just for the sake of a face. There would be a decent storyline too and good performers were backed by good playbacks," I would hit back. The slanging match would touch a new pitch every time.

In my happier moments, which were few and far between, she would hand me fuzzy logic that the tinsel world was like computer software where each day brought an upgradation and the past either paled into insignificance or oblivion. Put simply, I stood steadfastly by my old values whereas she would swear by new ones — those that caught her fancy which was practically every second day.

Anil Kapoor was in and out of her mind within no time while Akshay Kumar and Akshay Khanna were just passing phases by her standards of course. Salman was just beginning to make inroads when his indiscretion in Rajasthan saw him fall from grace. Shah Rukh probably enjoyed the longest innings before Mr Rippling Muscles Hrithik Roshan made short work of him. But poor Hrithik doesn’t know that Abhishek Bachchan is breathing down his neck.

Of late, I have wisened up to her idiosyncracies with a "to each her own" shrug. The subscription to the glossies have brought down the strident decibels. But still, I can sense an argument when it’s round the corner and I allow her the luxury of winning hands down.