Spods go ballistic over a dumbed down 3-kg NODE

You can get the `full monty’ (get the full amount), speak mockney (a form of speech perceived as an affected imitation of cockney), or be a `mouse potato’ (a person who spends large amounts of leisure or working time operating a computer). You may also be a `saddo’ (a person perceived as contemptible or pathetically inadequate) in which case you are liable to have `phone sex’ (a commercial service providing its customers with sexually explicit telephone conversation for the purpose of sexual gratification) and say `phwaoh’ or `phwoor’! (Brit informal) used to express desire especially of sexual nature).

The impact of New Labour on the English language is clearly important. `Blairite’ makes it into the dictionary (a follower of British Prime Minister Tony Blair). The all-important `spin doctor’ and his bug-bears -`on-message’ and `off-message’ (referring to those who adhere to, or depart from, the government line) are also included.

The dictionary underlines politically correct usage, declaring the term `Christian name’ to be obsolete. It says that preferred usage – `first name’ or `give name’ – recognise “that English-speaking societies have many religions and cultures”. The dictionary’s editors advise English speakers to avoid using, among others, Eskimo (and instead say Inuit) `poetess’ or `authoress’ (poet or author), spinster, Asiatic, chairman and cripple.The dictionary also finds room for gay slang originating in the United States. A `beard’ for instance is a female escorting a gay man in order to hide his homosexuality, while a `breeder’ is a gay term for a heterosexual. From sport, the `golden goal’ – the first winning goal scored in extra time – is also included. The editors have also acknowledged the influence of other influences in the way English is spoken, accepting that the use pronunciation of`research’ or harass and `harassment’ with the emphasis on the first syllable (rather than the traditional British emphasis on the second syllable) is acceptable.

What has, however, made purists `go ballistic’ (become violently angry) is not so much the inclusion of new words, but the `revolutionary’ view of grammar.

The dictionary’s editor says that Captain Kirk’s mission statement “to boldly go where no man has gone before” is perfectly grammatical. In standard English, they say, the split infinitive is `broadly accepted as normal and useful”. Rather more controversially they suggest that it is preferable to use `they’ instead of `he’ or `she’ when referring to an individual of unspecified sex. The dictionary describes the use of `he’ in these circumstances as “old-fashioned and sexist” and says that the politically correct usage “he or she” is `tiresomely long-winded.”

The Queen’s English Society has called for an English Academy to be set up along the lines of the Academie Francaise toprotect the purity of the language. One patron said, “The Oxford University Press is very powerful. If it is going to say this kind of thing, goodness knows what is going to happen to the English language.”