Soldiering silently, the women behind the army

These are but a few examples of women who have seen war at the closest. What can be more shattering than to lose your husband, son, father or brother? No monetary compensation can ease the trauma.

She is the next of kin of the soldier who dies. Wife, mother, daughter, sister: women whose men are in the Infantry. War hits them directly and brutally.

She smiles through thick and thin. The lump in her throat seems permanent even as she thinks about her loved one — guarding the borders, from the treacherous altitudes in Jammu and Kashmir to the dense jungles of the northeast, holding the fort at Siachin, fighting militants. The proxy war goes on and on.

As each day dawns, she sends up a silent prayer for peace and well being of her soldier. At the end of the day she heaves a sigh of relief.

She grabs the newspaper every morning to read the latest news reports on Kashmir or the northeast or other areas where the combatants are deployed. Her sorrow knows no barriers when she reads of another soldier killed, wounded or maimed for life. Her heart fills with pain but she is proud to belong to this large Infantry family.

There are many women in the villages too, not educated but simple wives of soldiers. They look after home and hearth unaware of where their men are. She cannot even read the newspaper, she is unlettered. He writes to her and someone reads out the letter to tell her her beloved is well. Deepa, Suresh’s wife, waits for that ring. He had promised to call on Sunday morning. Deepa is illiterate but she can speak on the telephone, she can tell him that their two-year-old daughter is growing up, learning to walk and talk.

Even as the soldiers serve the nation at the war front, the women play an important role: stress management. Whether she is a mother, sister, wife or daughter, she ensures emotional stability. She shares, she cares, she does it all. Attending to children, home, elders, in-laws, going to the hospital, bank and market.

It’s not easy sometimes when ‘‘junior’’ cannot reason out why Ravi’s father is home on a Sunday and not his. Gowri is sulking, ‘‘But Amma, why can’t Papa be here to attend my school concert.’’ She smiles gently, assuring her daughter that Papa would know each detail through the letter they would write.

Sometimes ‘‘she’’ too wishes he was around to help with the maths problems Govind has, it takes her hours to solve them. Ruksana cannot even try to help her son Shafiq with his schoolwork. She hasn’t been to school.

Many women who are from the rural belt and have lost their bread earner become heads of their household. They are faced with the most difficult responsibility of trying to re-build their lives and coping with family requirements — food, clothing, children’s school fees.

What is it like at the war front, on the borders or within the country fighting terrorists and militants? The scene is tough. A hundred per cent peak performance is required at all times. Infantrymen do it with grit and determination. Their women find the going tough and learn to get tougher.

Infantrymen are the pulse of the army and their support system are the women in their lives. The wife is a vital link in this support system, the mother a brave woman, the daughter a loving weakness, the sister a spirited sibling.

They all try very hard to cope. There are ups and downs in their lives too. The problems are immense yet the family bond is strong, they survive.

It is this courage that complements the soldier’s professionalism. They think of their family back home, the women who are their wives, mothers sisters and daughters. It is their love that gives them the courage to do their duty to the nation.

(The author is an Infantry wife)