Sense of deviance

I am an editor by profession. Simply put, I work towards clarifying the sense of words. But, at complete variance for an editor, I bring a s...

I am an editor by profession. Simply put, I work towards clarifying the sense of words. But, at complete variance for an editor, I bring a sense of deviance with me to the workplace.

I bring, I tell myself seriously, heart, voice, breath, mind and brain to an office. I bring: knowledge, devotion, a sense of dress, taste, my sense of relating with the people around — which transmits itself as behaviour — my habits of relating to time and work — patience — and my perception of whether the office wall paint is contributing to the dignity of work or not. I bring these things, like all of us, almost by the way. I believe they are for the people around.

Thus, I suffer — grossly — from the delusion that a man is more than the stories he edits, and that it is men who make stories. Ultimately, I believe, all of us are writers, committing our time to life every moment and being a significant part of the big story. It is the inability to comprehend the two — to not see how the smaller picture is a required fragment of the larger picture — that is the cause of an underlying bitterness, much in evidence, which I call Displacement.

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Displacement: being a misfit, not knowing why you are here and what you are doing here. Displacement is a genuine emotional tip, a rare pointer. It says: Exit. More often, it pleads: Please synthesise; don’t cut yourself off; accept your inabilities. Ponder why you are here: To serve with complete dignity not only the stories, but also the people and atmosphere around. In whatever position life has placed you, to slip in the hook of goodness into the stream of work, wait for the tug and joyously move together.

I find a keen sense of deviance serves my role well. It is not that it lets me parrot my individuality, but that it lets me see clearly. It makes me aware of what is happening outside my anxiety, while the story is not coming through. I wish to use deviance discriminatingly. I want to cut through the opaqueness of the plyboard behind my computer and get to this sense: That there are twenty people, twenty human beings with legs, hearts, brains, senses of taste, perception, linguistic ability working alongside. The colour of the workplace is not the colour of the wall. It is the colour of all these people.

What pains me is the lack of this colour, dignity and humour in work everywhere. I take enforced seriousness, artificial anxiety and arrogance unkindly. Perhaps I should take them sorrowfully, because it is repressive to the self to enforce these things. I am sorry for those who have to enforce it. For theirs is an onerous and lonely responsibility that deadens emotional worth and humane efficiency. And perhaps it is my small part to say this in the big story.

Police personnel seen to control the situation during a massive protest over the statehood demand and the inclusion of Ladakh under the Sixth Schedule, in Leh on Wednesday. (ANI Video Grab)

Statehood protest takes violent turn in Ladakh, BJP office set ablaze in Leh

India23 min ago

Protests in Ladakh turned violent as students and youth organisations demanded statehood and Sixth Schedule status. Two elderly protesters fainted, prompting a shutdown call. A BJP office and security vehicle were set on fire. Activist Sonam Wangchuk urged for a peaceful approach. The demand for Sixth Schedule status is due to Ladakh's tribal-majority population and direct central administration.

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