On TV: Spot the Kids contest

Children are meant to see not be seen or heard. What do they see? There are seven child-specific or related channels: Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, Kermit, Discovery, National Geographic, Animal Planet and Gyan Bharati.

In the fitness of things, the national broadcaster has the most original programming for children, especially through the dedicated Gyan Bharati. DD has mythologicals, superheroes (Shaktimaan, Junior G, Aryamaan), dramas (Hip Hip Hooray, School School), talk shows (Meri Baat).

Hindi entertainment channels telecast programmes in various genres: dance (Boogie Woogie, Sony), magic (Shakalaka Boom Boom, Star Plus), drama (Son Pari, Star Plus), comic hero (Chacha Chaudhury, Sahara), talk show (Sa Na Something to Anupam Uncle, Sabe TV). Also, going by the juvenile humour that passes for laughs, comedies target children. Cartoons reign supreme with a 24-hour Cartoon Network and animated shows on all entertainment channels, every day. That leaves the sports channels, which have a huge boy following (did someone say sexist?) and films. Now: is this too little or too much?

What’s the worst kept secret about kids and TV? They enjoy adult shows. Nothing new about it: a decade ago children preferred cartoons and drama serials, a decade later they prefer cartoons and drama serials. Indeed, recent research indicates that they enjoy the dramas as much as the cartoons.

Moral righteousness, however, demands educative TV programmes for them. It’s now that the argument becomes circuitous and not a little amusing. Most adults believe that ‘watching’ television is bad for children, per se. But since they watch a lot of television there must be programmes for them. Good programmes. Yes but if there are good programmes, then children will watch more TV, right?. And anyway, children don’t watch children’s programmes. Oho, that’s because there are not enough children’s programmes and those that exist are not good or entertaining enough to attract children who, therefore, watch adult shows. But, you see, to make good, entertaining kids’ shows requires mucho money and plenty of imagination and since children watch adult shows any way, and since watching TV is injurious to their health, why waste the money and effort?!!!!! It is left to the likes of Discovery and National Geographic to massage the mind.

Last week, Doordarshan thoughtfully telecast the Prime Minister’s interview for a Russian TV channel. Why DD must broadcast interviews with the PM by other channels, why PM never gives DD an interview of its own, are questions we don’t have answers to.

The PM spoke in Hindi, his interviewer in Russian, his interpreter in English and it sounded like double Dutch. The political part of the interview was predictable – Pakistan, terrorism, India-Russia vodka-shodka, the personal was more enjoyable. We learnt, for instance, that the PM likes to cook. What? Khichdi. Ordinary or masala, asked the Russian. For the merest instant, the PM, who had handled the serious questions with aplomb, was stumped. Masala? It should be a little ‘‘chat-patta’’, he replied. Wonder how they translated that into Russian via English.

Praise for DD: on World Disability Day, it had a man read out the news item in Braille. He was so fluent and self-possessed. Verily good.

(Write to shailabajpaiexpressindia.com)