Men of conviction

On the eve of the Gujarat assembly polls, we found two political leaders — a BJP leader and a Congress ex-MP — waiting in the rece...

On the eve of the Gujarat assembly polls, we found two political leaders — a BJP leader and a Congress ex-MP — waiting in the reception room of the Baroda Central Jail. Cautious inquiries revealed that they had come to pay their respects to a senior convict, who was due to be discharged that day.

‘Bhai has been like a father to me in my formative, or rather reformative years,’ said the Congressman reverentially. ‘For 11 years I sat at his feet, indeed, I massaged them frequently and learned from him all that I know of politics. He taught me human resource and muscle development, so vital in a career in public service…’

‘That’s nothing!’ the BJP leader broke in. ‘Bhai and I shared a true guru-chela relationship. We worked in the kitchen together, you know.’ He went on. ‘It is something I always remembered as a kitchen cabinet member in later years. Our relationship lasted for fully 12 years…’

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‘Twelve years? You were inside for barely seven years!’ the Congressman scoffed. ‘What’s more, you underwent simple imprisonment, whereas I did RI!’

‘That might be so,’ the BJP man retorted scornfully. ‘But let me remind you that I was associated with bhai even before he entered this institution of learning. Before our joint convictions, many were the occasions when we set forth into the field together, armed with nothing more than the courage of our convictions and a few trusty knives. We served the interests of the poor money-lenders whose clients had defaulted on their payments…’

We butted in, ‘How would you assess your chances in the polls? The Congress has repeatedly stated that BJP-led governments have been a signal failure.’

‘Bus karo!’ he yelled, spraying the vicinity with betel-juice. ‘How can you ask me about Signal Falia when you know that Godhra is not a poll issue? The BJP campaign has instead talked about terrorism, and how the Congress in 1971 failed to arrive at a permanent solution to the Kashmir problem.’

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The Congressman was incensed. ‘What does all this have to do with Gujarat? We have focused on the complete ruin that years of BJP-misrule has brought to the state. We have told people how the entire nation was shamed with the demolition of the Babri Masjid in 1992, how people allegedly involved in that deed are holding positions of power at the Centre and in UP even today…in short, the Congress has focused on issues of good governance.’

‘Er… what about fielding criminals in the polls?’ we asked nervously.

‘It is reported that 138 out of 1000-odd candidates have criminal records.’

‘What do you mean, ‘odd’ candidates!’ they simultaneously thundered, and rose menacingly to their feet. Fortunately, at this moment the door opened and the jail-warden entered with bhai; a formidable-looking man, all muscle and moustache. In a trice, the two political leaders fawning all over him. It appeared that each wanted the support of bhai to ensure ‘good voter turnout’. We did not have the courage to ask what exactly they meant by ‘turnout’.