Hillary146;s Revenge

Although the speech that Hillary Clinton will deliver to the Democratic National Convention will, no doubt, be a model of decorum, the New Y...

Although the speech that Hillary Clinton will deliver to the Democratic National Convention will, no doubt, be a model of decorum, the New York senator had to work through some personal issues to get to that point.

What had upset Sen. Clinton was being denied a speaking slot 8212; any speaking slot. Only after considerable lobbying on her behalf was a spot found for her 8212; introducing her husband. Just how angry Sen. Clinton was at this slight could clearly be seen in the first draft she wrote of her speech:

Convention delegates, honoured guests, all you drunks in the straw hats. I stand before you this evening with mixed emotions. On the one hand, I am happy to have this opportunity. On the other, I8217;m really, really honked off that I had to beg the Kerry people like a dog to have it.

8216;8216;You know, maybe the girlie men who are running the show right now should ask themselves this question: If old Herman Munster loses in November, who8217;s going to be calling the shots four years from now? And don8217;t give me John Edwards, because pretty boy8217;s magic hair is thinner than Bush8217;s upper lip. I8217;ll tell you who is going to be in charge 8212; ME. And just so you know, when my time comes, the only way you are going to get in is if you8217;re pushing a broom.

8216;8216;But I8217;m so very, very happy to be here this evening. Of course, I think it8217;s unfortunate that I8217;m not here in my own right, that I8217;m here introducing my pant-load of a husband like some brainless, stay-at-home cookie baker. Come on, they picked Al Gore before me? Never mind watching paint dry, he8217;s like listening to paint dry. I mean, I8217;m surprised they8217;re not having Dukakis drive up in a tank and say a few words.

8216;8216;Nonetheless, I8217;m delighted to be introducing Bill. A lot of people think that I am jealous that Bill8217;s book did better than my book. Not so. Bill8217;s book did better than mine for one reason, and we all know what that thong-flashing reason8217;s name is. Just imagine my book sales if I had done the wild thing with a few interns.

8216;8216;And just to clear this up, I8217;m not at all put off by the fact that I8217;m the one with the power now, not Bill. I8217;m the US senator. I8217;m the next Democratic presidential nominee. I8217;m the future leader of the free world.

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8216;8216;Anyway, allow me to introduce my husband, the former President of the United States, a man who embodies the American dream, and a person, who despite what he wrote in his book about us getting back together, is still sleeping on the couch.

8216;8216;Ladies and gentlemen, I give you 8212; William Jefferson Rodham, er, Clinton.8217;8217;

LAT-WP