Four girls are salvation for Vrindavan’s widows

Three months ago, the Holi celebrations outside Amarwadi Ashram were momentarily stalled when 28-year-old Anasuya, its chief guardian, stepped out to request a couple of men to carry an old inmate who had just died to the cremation grounds by the river. No one paid any heed to her, and after several hours of searching the town for volunteers, a desperate Anasuya and her colleagues, Deepa, Gita and Vinita, took the bold decision to conduct the rituals themselves.

Says Anasuya today, “We were completely helpless. The kirtaniyas (men who work in bhajan ashrams where the widows earn a miserly livelihood singing praises of god) simply refused, the priests in temples nearby just shut themselves in, we didn’t know what to do. And the words of these mais kept ringing in our ears, `We’ve come to Vrindavan to die with god…please don’t let them (garbage collectors) take us away in their wheelbarrows, make sure we are given Hindu rites or we will be cursed with rebirth again…’ It was beginning to get dark and we decided we must finish the job ourselves.”

For the plucky girls, the funeral was the last thing they were prepared for. Anasuya has been trained in a fashion institute in Delhi’s Lajpat Nagar and is in charge of the daily affairs of the ashram; Vinita, a commerce graduate from Mathura’s K R Degree College, conducts vocational training classes for the inmates; and Gita is an informally trained nurse from the temple town’s Ashirwad Hospital and a full-time nurse with the ashram, assisting her chief, Deepa, who is a trained nurse. But fear and dread was the last thing on their minds.

The girls were ably assisted by the mais (widows) in the religious ceremony; they conducted the ritual with professional ease, says Anasuya. The difficult part was to carry the body on the 3-km walk to the banks of the river. Unfazed, the girls took on the role of pall-bearers and trudged the path to the town’s final destination. For a ghoulish touch, the girls recall laughing and giggling along the way to lessen their terror.

“It is getting increasingly difficult to find people to conduct the funeral rites for these mais as they are seen as outsiders,” says Anasuya matter-of-factly, “and it is all the more difficult for this ashram as we do not employ men on the staff,” she says wryly.

Like elsewhere in the country, funerals are conducted by the community, but for the unfortunate widows of Vrindavan, they are abandoned both in life and death. As a visiting electrician, Vijay Kumar, explains helpfully, “Look, will anyone pick up a beggar or lawaris lying dead on the road for cremation. It is the municipality’s job. These widows are not our people, why have they come here from Bengal? Why are they on our heads?”

Kamala Ghosh, principal of Vivekananda School and guardian angel to hundreds of widows, is equally scathing when she questions the propriety of the management of ashrams dotting Vrindavan. “Why can’t these ashrams take care of funeral rites? After all they get huge donations and these poor women subsist on the minimum; the least they can do is give them a decent cremation. They have come to die here.”

Indira Goel, project director of Amarwadi Ashram, which is affiliated to the Guild of Service, New Delhi, admits that low payments to pall-bearers is creating a problem. “We budget around Rs 1,200 to Rs 1,500 for funeral expenses. And these women want full rites…they have blind faith in moksha (liberation of the soul). We normally do not encourage cash payments and instead gift clothes to the pall-bearers. Yes, I agree, volunteers are difficult to get.”

At the other end of the town, at the Senior Citizen’s Home — yet another refuge for the widows — a fat payment ensures prompt attendance by pall-bearers at funerals. Laxmi Das, the quiet woman manager of the home, says she does not have any problem in getting volunteers. “We pay Rs 3,000 for the funeral which includes everything — wood, fuel, the dom (undertaker)…but it would help if we had an electric crematorium. We would save a lot from our tightly-budgeted funds.”

Goel is dismissive when asked whether increasing the budget would help getting volunteers. “It is our sweet will what we give the volunteers. I have already said, I don’t encourage cash payments.” But she helpfully adds, “We have collaborated with the District Collector to help us form a committee which will have pall-bearers on call at any given time. We are ready to start this by next week. Every ashram in town can avail of this facility. Hopefully, the problem should be solved then,” she says crisply. For the widows of Vrindavan, this could be another small victory.