Cricket isn’t cool

And Neo Sports may like to respect us, too, seeing that it’s our eyeballs that bring in the lovely lucre from advertising, not the other way around. We’ve noticed this obsessive compulsive disorder in earlier Neo Sports telecasts; no sooner have four balls been bowled in an over than the producer is seized by the irresistible urge to break for a commercial. And, no sooner had Ishant Sharma got the better of Mark Boucher than the ad-mad bloke pressed the break button again. Maybe the heat had just got to him too, because when the next wicket fell (Morkel), a few balls later, we remained with the action on the tip of Sharma’s nose.

While we appreciate the need to make moolah (don’t we all?), we’d like to watch the match. Sponsors paying the channel should say this to them: show them the match and we’ll show you the money.

We may think it is cruel to play cricket in April but not so the IPL that starts Friday. The matches will be played in the evening, making ‘cool cricket’ a distinct possibility. However, if you have seen the promos, it’s anything but cool. In a delightful creative effort (the dentist one is a personal favourite), the promos are hot and happening with the players pumped into gladiatorial beasts. Hrithik Roshan lends his six packs to Mumbai Indians and that’s just the beginning. It’s got all the makings of a circus. You may not think that is cricket, but it is, it is.

Everyone is invited to the party, none more so than the news channels, the first to drown the event in coverage and then squeeze it for all its worth. Times Now has a special segment every night of its schedule already devoted to the IPL. The others will follow. We will have so much cricket coming out of the tube, why you could brush your teeth with it. Okay, poor joke.

Speaking of poor jokes, wonder what the girls who present the entertainment segments of CNN-IBN, Headlines Today and Times Now, find so funny on air: could it be their being there? They’re always beaming so, their smiles could transmit the TV signals. That’s not all. They’re always squirming so, seemingly with the pleasure of our company. And puffing out their hair or their cheeks. They have attitude and an accent straight out of, well, we don’t know where. They pun, they fun and shun anything that sounds remotely sensible. A change from anchors who take themselves so seriously. Still, after 10 minutes, you want to essay a headstand — maybe they’ll look better upside down.

shailaja.bajpai@expressindia.com