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Journalism of Courage
8220;Oops! Dahling, puhleese help,8221; cooes this near seven feet tall tranny putting his/her arm around me, 8220;I8217;ve just dropped my fake fingernail8221;.
I8217;m at a Melbourne bar and it8217;s rocking. Right after that episode we party amid the dimly-lit, slinky curves of the Bond Lounge, where the rhythmic sound waves drive all thoughts away 8212; except maybe some lascivious ones. As night slips into day, we watch a sensationally good-looking woman strip at Showgirls. And no matter how often I go out to sample the night, there is perpetual day in the gaudy, brightly-lit Crown Casino which operates 24-7.
I8217;m intoxicated by the evening and I haven8217;t even begun telling you about Sydney8217;s all-night bush parties, the all-day discos, and about Sexy Gelexy, the drag queen with the lipstick and the moustache.
Let8217;s get one thing clear. If you want to hop through the hottest nightspots Down Under, you can8217;t do without these basics: high energy, an insatiable appetite to party8212;and no preconceived notions. In Australia, anything8217;s possible.
Melbourne by Night
It turns out, the 8220;King of Melbourne8217;s nightlife8221; has just turned seventy. His birthday bash is attended by all his five ex-wives, his current girlfriend and his children. Yes, Brian Goldsmith is a very loved man, he has been ever since he set up Melbourne8217;s first disco, Goldies.
Today, his sons run several throbbing nightclubs. I happen to meet one of the King8217;s sons, outside a bar! Jason Goldsmith sportingly agrees to escort me through his city. What follows is a breathtakingly-paced thriller, complete with sound, lights and the whirr of my camera shutter.
The party Down Under begins on a Thursday night and goes on till Monday morning. You could begin with a drink at Hairy Canary like we do, sip a second at the relaxed and unpretentious Q Bar, and cruise along to the frenetic Seven or Saratoga owned by my escort. Then, if you don8217;t want to hear yourself think really, why would you want to?, head for the Boutique and its super-loud music.
And if you make it to morning, then wend your way to Hard Candy, Revolver and others known for their quieter day crowds. I enjoy that. Also the relaxed jazz at Purple Emerald. I wish I had the time though, to take in the twilight jazz at the Royal Melbourne zoo. Yes, the zoo. Melbourne abounds in places for live music, but these are taking a bit of a beating with the explosion of DJ sounds and electronic techno.
If non-stop partying isn8217;t for you, there are quieter things to do. Catch a play at the Victoria Arts theatre, preferably a comedy Melbourne is the home of Australian comedy. If you go in summer December to March, remember this is the southern hemisphere, don8217;t miss the Moonlight Cinema in the Royal Botanic Gardens.
So, ready for the strip bars?
If you don8217;t have an escort, let me tell you that it8217;s perfectly safe to go it alone. I got that tip from the concierge of my swank hotel, and he was perfectly right. The large, chilled air-conditioned hall at Showgirls has women in white thongs shimmying up and down poles, while men nonchalantly play pool with their backs to them. No wonder Jason told me earlier that strip clubs are more about male bonding than sex.
Suddenly, at midnight, there8217;s a 8220;free show8221;. A gorgeous woman with never-ending legs strides up the ramp in the altogether. Strangely enough, she exudes a strong wholesomeness. She8217;s a picture of health and a dancer and acrobat par excellence. I8217;m puzzled. So, what8217;s a nice girl like her8230;
My neighbour flashes a smile and tells me that she works here. I want to know more and ready myself for a tale of woe.
8220;Oh! she does it for the love of the performance,8221; says Marie. 8220;She has a husband and she8217;s a racehorse owner.8221;
8220;What about you, what do you do?8221; I ask. Turns out, Marie is a masseuse here.
8216;8216;I trained in massage in Kerala. Want a neck massage?8217;8217;
Later that night, when Jason takes me to Exchange Bar it looks like a quiet place with men and women quietly guzzling their beer. That8217;s till I get accosted by this tall seven-footer with the lost fingernail, and friend. Trannies, as transvestites are affectionately called here, have their favourite haunts. This is obviously one.
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The two trannies are a riot. By day, they8217;re both successful businessmen. Their names? 8220;Destiny8221; says one. 8220;Destiny8217;s Abortion is the full name,8221; chips in the friend.
By the way, we never did find Destiny8217;s long, red fingernail.
Sydney by Night
Her toned, graceful arms glide with the trance music. Her long legs, encased in hip-hugging, striped trousers, move with amazing rhythm and grace. We8217;re at the elegant, high-ceilinged Dome where the DJ sits in a fish-bowl at a great height. There are four night-spots housed in this old school-of-arts building. The pillars have faux flames burning and Duglass Hocking8212;my dancing partner and escort8212;is in her element.
The SOH the Sydney Opera House is the performing arts centre of Opera Australia, the Australian ballet, the Sydney Theatre company and the Sydney symphony. The SOH is a symbol of Australia and a reminder that the classical arts are alive and well.
That said, just around the corner from the grand SOH, the picturesque waterfront of the Circular Quay throbs late into the night. I8217;ll never forget the wall of light at the gigantic Cruise where we pick up a drink and shriek over the music. Or the young and trendy Aqua Luna and ArtHouse. The view of the harbour at night is unforgettable from the Lebanese Cadmus, where the air glints with sophistication and glamour. Australians love to gamble and if you do too, then the Star City casino is a good bet. You8217;ll also find coin-fed 8220;pokies8221;, gambling machines, in many a pub.
My Sydney by night is incomplete without the drag-queen show, where lithe male dancers prance around with the grace of ballerinas, and 8220;Sexy Gelexy8221; sets the stage on fire with her Drag King act.
My only regret is that I couldn8217;t stay long enough to party all night in the bush the party really never stops!. 8220;It8217;s a beautiful experience,8221; explains Duglass. 8216;8216;You are dancing in the dark and suddenly as the day breaks you can see your partner and the others around you. The air is fresh and healthy and invigorating.8217;8217;It8217;s the same with the day-clubs, where you can start partying at 7 am yes, am on a Sunday morning, instead of ruining your night. You can trust the outdoorsy Aussies to find healthy options to the night-life too. I love that!
