Are we listening to our children?

I realize now, after years of lecturing, organizing workshops and writing that such efforts will not change the prevailing conception of child competence. This conception is much too functional for it to be given up because the research, clinical experience, and expert opinion concur that it is both incorrect and unhealthy. WE are going through those periods of transition, when children are the unwilling victims of societal upheaval and change. According to David Elkind, “our new conception of children and youth is epitomized in the metaphor of the superkid. Like Superman, superkid has spectacular powers of precocious competence even as an infant. This allows us to think that we can hurry the little powerhouse with impunity.”

My recent research finding on stress faced by adolescents in their daily life transactions and relationships indicate that children are under undue pressure both at school and at home, showing heightened negative emotions associated with school work. The family does not buffer these experiences, but further aggravates the problem. What concerns me most about our embrace of the notion of child competence is that it reflects our tendency to accept the increasing and unrelenting stresses on today young people as normal’ and our willingness to rationalize them as actually beneficial for children. If only we had the time to listen to our children….!

Our children can play a pivotal role as active partners in their own developmental process. As a researcher I have always found children make valuable contributions to situational analyses by indicating what troubles them most. For instance: a careful analysis of a family situation may reveal many problems affecting children, but their own life histories show us vividly the significance for their psycho-social needs, of caring relationships with adults and peers. The increasing incidence of psycho-social problems in children is but one indicator of the importance for children of meaningful interaction, warm people and a child-friendly milieu.

Children, if taken seriously, can give important suggestions for improvements in city living. Study coordinated by Blanc (1994) reports how school children aged 9-14 years in Fano, Italy presented their plan for an urban renewal project, drafted during on intense meeting with an educator, to a surprised but sympathetic Mayor and his council. The plan incorporated the children’s concern not only for themselves but also for adults and especially fro the aged. The most surprised observers were the parents, who were seeing their own children in a new light as city planners. I strongly advocate a much more active participation of children in city planning and a greater recognition and respect of their largely untapped capabilities. This process, if initiated will not only help the policy makers but will provide a meaningful experience to children to grow into responsible adults and develop crucial life skills for future life demands. There is no way we can make Chandigarh a child-friendly city without the activeparticipation of children themselves. It would be great to elect a child Major who speaks on behalf of the children of Chandigarh and we the adults for a change listen…..!

The writer is a faculty member of the Dept of Child development, Govt Home Science College