Anju Illyasi contemplated suicide in March 19998242;

NEW DELHI, JAN 20: It was on March 9, 1999, that Anju, wife of TV producer Suhaib Illyasi, wrote in her personal diary that she was contem...

NEW DELHI, JAN 20: It was on March 9, 1999, that Anju, wife of TV producer Suhaib Illyasi, wrote in her personal diary that she was contemplating suicide.

The diary, which Anju maintained sporadically, gives an account of her life during the last two years the life of a woman who was frustrated and unhappy, a woman who, in her own words, was 8220;wanting and demanding8221; and a woman who everyone believed was responsible for the mess she was in.

8220;It is clear that she was unhappy and troubled, yet she makes no mention of the reason. She has not written anything concrete against either her husband or his friend Narendra Chaddha,8221; said senior police officials.

Confirming that she did maintain a diary, SDM Ravi Dadhich said that he could not disclose what it contained. 8220;Anju8217;s mother, when questioned, had told us that her daughter was in the habit of writing and may have maintained a diary. When we searched her house, we found that she did indeed keep one,8221; he said.

Photocopies of the relevant pages fromher diary were submitted to the panel of doctors compiling the post-mortem report, yesterday. And the doctors have listed it as one of the 15 parameters they considered before concluding that Anju8217;s wounds were self-inflicted and suicidal in nature. In their post-mortem report, they have mentioned that the note written by Anju Illyasi shows that she had strained relations with her husband Suhaib and was thinking of killing herself and Aaliya. She wrote that she was not loved or wanted by Suhaib as he was busy with his life.

She wrote: 8220;Everyone considers me wanting and demanding. I think everyone has a problem with me and my daughter. I don8217;t want to live anymore, but who will take care of my daughter? Mujhe uski chinta rahti hai. Ai Khuda, aise khayalon ko mere dimag mein aane se roko. I worry about the well-being of my daughter and that is what stops me. Oh God! Stop these thoughts from coming into my head.8221;

The diary also talks about her loneliness during her one-year sojourn in the USA. 8220;Shereturned to India some time early last year. She spent the year before that in the USA and she jots down her dissatisfaction with the arrangement,8221; said a senior police official. Anju apparently states that she was unhappy with the fact that her husband was busy making money in India and was not interested in either her or her daughter. The diary contains no mention of Suhaib8217;s 8220;friend,8221; the Karol Bagh-based businessman Narendra Chaddha, who Suhaib had claimed was a major reason for their differences.

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Sources also say that when the statements were recorded, Suhaib had said that a few years back his wife had taken an overdose of sleeping pills and had to be taken to a nursing home in Mayur Vihar for treatment. Her mother, however, insists that it was an accident.

Whether a case for abetment to suicide can be made or not, will be clear only after the SDM submits his report. 8220;We are still awaiting a few reports like that of the fingerprints and bloodstains which were found on the carpet. It is only afterthey are received will I submit my report. It might take upto 15 days,8221; said Dadhich.