A special Taj discount for Mr Gautier…

Besides, the man clearly does not understand the first thing about business. If India is failing to draw as much inward investment as China it isn’t because potential investors have to get visas or stand in immigration queues. By that yardstick, China should have no foreign investment at all. As for battered taxis, they are a little like public toilets, perhaps Gautier has to use them but Bill Gates and Richard Branson don’t. The same goes for visa applications, and he might like to know that in London he’d get an Indian visa in a few hours, a French visa in a day and a US visa, if he is lucky, in three weeks. And, hotel prices, reflect the market. If people were not willing to pay $400 a night, hotels would be forced to reduce prices. Perhaps, Gautier’s only contact with business has been with penny wise shopkeepers, but when serious investors think of making profitable investments they are less concerned about their "overheads" then they are about their "rate of return".

It may cost a foreigner Rs 500 to see the Taj. But it would cost him/her Å“20 (Rs 1,400) to see the Millennium Dome, Å“10 (Rs 700) to enter the Louvre and Å“10 (Rs 700) to enter Madam Tussaud’s. Sure, Indians only have to pay Rs 50 to see the Taj. But I can actually "think of a more flagrant discrimination" than expecting Gautier to pay more. Average salaries in India are a tiny fraction of average salaries in France. The reason India is getting even the limited foreign investment it does, is because of "cheap labour".

By failing in our Hindu duty of abasing ourselves before our foreign guests, we are discarding our ancient tradition, warns Gautier. We have become corrupted by "ignorant and arrogant" foreigners. The Brits, the chief among these, did many bad things: they left a mess and partitioned the country. But worse than this they bred what Gautier and the Sangh Parivar like to refer to as Macaulay’s children – who rate Liberty, Equality, Fraternity higher than religion and caste. They apparently obstruct the "selfless" (Gautier’s word, not mine) Murli Manohar Joshi from saving our civilisation. He warns that we could end up in the same position as the Japanese.

Would that, by any chance, mean "rich"? Not quite, Gautier, like his friend Murli Manohar Joshi is not so concerned about our material well being but with our spiritual salvation. He says that Japan’s ancient traditions (Zen Buddhism, bonsai) have survived not because the Japanese valued them, but because Americans did. If we don’t grab our traditions by their horns, Gautier says, it will be left to him, and a few friends, to save them for us. I am minded to let them do just that. Why don’t they take our greatest and most abiding tradition caste and save it some place else, perhaps in France?

While they are at it, why don’t they also take away the burning of brides and the rape of lower caste women by upper caste landlords? With all of these traditions secure, but not burdening us, we will get on with the job of ensuring that there are spanking new taxis at the airport, and no queues at immigration. We might even let Gautier see the Taj at a special discount.