Is it fun banter or workplace bullying? How to tell the difference (and stop it!)

Conversely, she states, banter can veer into discomfort and can border on bullying if not universally welcomed. It can cause anxiety, reduce self-esteem, and alienate employees. This is particularly true when the banter touches on personal attributes or when the intent behind it is not clear to everyone involved.

According to the Australian Human Rights Commission, “Workplace bullying is verbal, physical, social or psychological abuse by your employer (or manager), another person or group of people at work.”

Workplace bullying can happen in any type of workplace, it states, from offices to shops, cafes, restaurants, workshops, community groups and government organisations.

36-year-old communications professional Samarpita Samaddar told indianexpress.com, “At 21 when I started my career at India Foundation for the Arts (IFA), I witnessed and realised how enriching and fun healthy workplace banter can be. As an impressionable, young woman it helped me grow manifold, it made me feel heard, seen, included and valued among colleagues who had decades of professional experience over me, people I was in awe of!”

However, things took a turn for the worse when years later she began working in the entertainment and film industry in Mumbai. “I faced bullying not just from a couple of ex-colleagues but also a few talents I worked with. It was incredibly hard at times – there were moments when all I wanted to do was crawl underneath, but I didn’t. I faltered, and I struggled to be heard, but I didn’t give up. I had to show up for myself, I had to make it a point to stand my ground more times than I thought I would be able to.”

For employers and managers, senior psychologist Neha Cadabam suggests fostering an inclusive culture that clearly defines and enforces what constitutes acceptable banter versus inappropriate behaviour. (Source: Freepik)

According to Cadabam, effective differentiation requires an understanding of the context in which the banter occurs and the power dynamics at play. “Banter among peers with mutual consent generally reflects healthy interaction. However, if power imbalances are exploited, such as senior staff targeting junior staff, it may constitute bullying.”

Dr Madhu Kotiya, a counsellor, adds that organisations can differentiate between harmless banter and potentially harmful behaviour by setting clear ethical guidelines that align with core values such as respect, kindness, and inclusivity. “Observing the reactions of those involved in the banter is crucial; an attuned workplace recognises that true camaraderie never compromises an individual’s dignity,” she explains.

Dhirendra Singh, a senior account manager recalls a few incidents of bullying he witnessed at an organisation he was working for. “If I have to mention a few instances, I think it was in the year 2016 when I was working with a publication house. A person had joined the sales backend team; he happened to be from a semi-urban background, so he wasn’t as sophisticated as a person born and raised in metro cities. 

“He had some issues with pronunciation and grammar, so everything he said became part of the office fun. Initially, it was funny, but gradually, it turned into bullying as everyone found him to be an easy target. It was really tough for him, and I think it impacted his performance at the workplace as well because constant bullying made him feel that he was less competent compared to other team members.”

According to a 2017 research published in the International Journal of Science Technology and Management, “Most researchers agree that the job dissatisfaction, physical stress symptoms, and decline in mental health due to becoming the target of a bully has a negative effect on workplace productivity.”

As a result, both employees and employers in an organisation perform key roles in fostering a work environment that balances friendly banter with professional respect for everyone. Cadabam asserts that for employees, it is crucial to gauge the comfort level of all participants in banter. If unsure, it’s safer to steer clear of potentially sensitive subjects. Always be ready to apologise if unintentional offense is taken, and actively listen to peers’ boundaries.

For employers and managers, she suggests fostering an inclusive culture that clearly defines and enforces what constitutes acceptable banter versus inappropriate behaviour. “Encourage an open-door policy for concerns and complaints, ensure confidentiality and non-retaliation, and take immediate action if boundaries are overstepped. Regularly review and update policies to reflect current societal norms and legal standards,” she says.

Singh and Samaddar support this, with the former urging HRs and team leads to hire diverse employees including those from different religions, genders, regions, languages, and cultures. 

Samaddar who now works with a team under her says, “As women leaders, it’s crucial we support and lift each other up, foster an inclusive and healthy workplace where everyone is seen, heard and valued. Policies have to be implemented by people.”

She believes giving a platform to team members to voice their opinions and share their ideas is important. “Listening is as important as sharing productive feedback. It’s necessary for organisations to create a safe, inclusive workplace, especially by hiring and enabling leaders who walk the talk,” she concludes.