‘Ye iss generation ki problem hai’: Taapsee Pannu on social media addiction and the struggles of validation-seeking

While seeking validation might seem inherently negative, it’s a natural human behaviour rooted in our need for acceptance. The question remains: Can the desire for approval be reframed as a positive force for personal growth, or does it inevitably lead to unhealthy comparisons and self-doubt, especially in the digital age?

Why seeking validation has become such a significant issue for younger generations

Shatavisa Majumder, Consultant Clinical Psychologist at Mindtalk, tells indianexpress.com, “Seeking validation has always been a part of human behaviour, driven by our evolutionary need for social acceptance and belonging. However, the rise of social media has intensified this natural tendency, turning it into an almost constant pursuit of approval, particularly for younger generations.” 

“The dopamine release associated with positive interactions creates a dependency cycle, as studies in Frontiers in Psychology have highlighted. Additionally, social media encourages a culture of comparison, where users measure their lives against the curated, often unrealistic portrayals of others, leading to feelings of inadequacy and a drive for validation to meet perceived societal standards,” she adds. 

Majumder states that smartphones’ 24/7 connectivity means that younger individuals are constantly exposed to others’ opinions and judgments, which only exacerbates anxiety and self-doubt.

Social media encourages a culture of comparison, where users measure their lives against the curated. (Source: Freepik)

Is seeking validation always harmful, or can it sometimes serve as a catalyst for personal growth or motivation?

Majumder states, “Seeking validation is not inherently harmful; it is a natural human behaviour that, when balanced, can provide motivation and strengthen interpersonal relationships.” Healthy validation can inspire growth and deepen connections. For instance, positive reinforcement, like a student receiving praise, can drive ambition and skill development. Validation also helps build trust and emotional bonds, fostering a sense of belonging essential for well-being.

Constructive feedback can enhance self-awareness and confidence by highlighting areas for growth. However, validation becomes problematic when it turns into a necessity. Over-reliance on external approval can damage self-esteem and increase vulnerability to criticism, while validation addiction can lead to stress and anxiety. Moreover, when validation becomes the main source of self-worth, intrinsic values, and happiness may be neglected. Psychological Science research highlights that balanced validation-seeking is crucial for emotional health and personal development.

Differentiating between healthy validation and the harmful kind

Majumder explains, “Understanding the difference between healthy and harmful validation is crucial to maintaining mental well-being.”

Signs of Healthy Validation:

• Focus on Growth: Encourages self-improvement and learning over instant gratification. For example, seeking feedback to refine a project.
• Occasional and Contextual: Validation is sought in meaningful situations like careers or relationships.
• Non-Dependency: Supports self-validation without replacing it.

Signs of Harmful Validation:

• Constant Need for Approval: Anxiety or feeling incomplete without external acknowledgment, such as frequently checking social media for likes.
• Emotional Instability: Self-worth tied to external feedback, causing stress or depression.
• Pleasing Others at a Cost: Changing behavior solely for approval, even at the expense of personal values.

Reflecting on validation-seeking motivations helps individuals distinguish between constructive and harmful behaviours.