‘When everything is rosy, people treat you well’: Ananya Panday on the need for respectful communication during fights

 

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Common mistakes people make during fights

According to Ashutosh Tiwari, psychologist and director at MindGlass Well-being in Delhi, not everyone knows how to handle conflicts without insulting others or losing their composure. “When you introduce the secrets and weaknesses of others in a conflict, it falls under the category of personal attacks. Name-calling or labeling others with disrespectful terms is insulting. When you bring up past conversations and issues without providing a rationale and fail to respond to honest questions, it can also be a significant mistake during a fight,” said Tiwari.

However, mastering the ability to manage emotions, understanding the impact of appropriate conversations, and avoiding using harsh language can help people manage these situations effectively while maintaining respect for others’ personal spaces and boundaries.

According to the principles of psychology, the events of arguments, aggression, and fights can occur in situations of fear, conflict, and a perceived threat to the identity and existence of the other person. Frustration is the primary trigger for aggression, which can manifest not only as a direct physical fight but also as verbal abuse or an argument-based conflict, Tiwari said.

Juhi Pandey, a psychologist with the Aditya Birla Education Trust, said “being respectful not only helps in solving the disagreements and arrive at a conclusion mutually good for both but also help in protecting the relationship from any kind of damage.”

According to her, bringing up the past, raising one’s voice, using always and never statements, blaming, accusing, exaggerating the problem, shutting down the communication and defensiveness are some things people do at the spur of a heated moment that have them ending up feeling guilty later.

Arguments in a relationship are inevitable, but can also be healthy (Source- Freepik)

The power of respectful communication

“It is important to stay focused on the problem, not personalise it. Staying mindful is key. Mindfulness can be in terms of body language, the tone of your voice and staying on the current issue and not bringing the past. It is important to agree to disagree and not take it as a trophy of winning or losing in the fight,” said Pandey.

Tiwari suggested practical strategies for de-escalating conflicts, such as active listening, taking breaks, and reflecting on the root causes of arguments. Setting boundaries during a fight fosters mutual respect and creates a conducive atmosphere for open communication and problem-solving.

“Mutual respect during disagreements strengthens bonds. It encourages empathy, open dialogue, and a willingness to find common ground, helping relationships grow stronger over time,” said Tiwari.