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Why do certain people, like an ex-partner, a childhood friend, a parent, or even a colleague, keep appearing in your dreams? And why do some faces in these nightly stories bring up strong emotions long after you wake up? According to Dr Madhukar Bhardwaj, Director and Head of Neurology at Aakash Healthcare, dream characters are not random visitors. The brain chooses them to help us work through emotions we have not fully faced while awake. Dreams often act as emotional mirrors. They prompt us to revisit feelings we have hidden away in the rush of daily life or pushed aside due to social expectations.
In India, Dr Bhardwaj points out that both children and adults often learn to hide anger, disappointment, or fear, especially around elders or authority figures. “Dreams help finish the emotional processing that we avoid when we are awake,” he notes.
Dr Bhardwaj explains that the brain recruits familiar people in our dreams to help make sense of this emotional backlog. These dream figures act like symbols:
Since many people in India are taught to maintain calm or silence during conflict, these suppressed emotions need a release. Dreams become that outlet, and the people who appear in them are chosen because they have played emotional roles in our real lives. They help the brain work through memories, conflicts, and emotional “leftovers” we didn’t process when awake, the expert added.
If a person shows up repeatedly — an ex, a childhood figure, a colleague, or a former boss — it usually signals unfinished emotional business. “There is a reason the brain keeps bringing back the same face,” says Dr Bhardwaj. “It reflects an unresolved emotional memory that your mind is still trying to understand. These repeated appearances suggest that the brain is still searching for closure, clarity, or emotional equilibrium related to that individual.”
Cultural factors amplify this pattern. Indian families often discourage confrontation or direct conversations about dissatisfaction, hurt, or disagreement. Over time, these unexpressed emotions accumulate. The brain, Dr Bhardwaj adds, shifts these conflicts into the dream world, creating scenarios where the emotional tension can be played out symbolically. Recurring dreams, therefore, hint at a psychological need that hasn’t been addressed in real life — perhaps the need for validation, forgiveness, boundaries, or closure.
Not all recurring dreams are benign. Dr Bhardwaj notes that recurring nightmares can sometimes be linked to anxiety, trauma, or overwhelming life transitions. “In anxiety disorders, the brain tends to replay fears in various forms, making dreams feel repetitive and emotionally intense. For people who have experienced trauma, the brain may repeatedly present disturbing images as a way of trying to understand or integrate the event.”
However, recurrent distressing dreams also emerge during significant life transitions — such as marriage, separation, moving to a new city, starting a new job, or taking on caregiving responsibilities. These situations overload the brain’s emotional circuits, he adds.
Importantly, Dr Bhardwaj cautions that such dreams do not automatically indicate a mental disorder. Instead, they are signs that the mind is carrying more emotional weight than it can comfortably hold and is attempting to work through it.
Understanding a dream often begins the moment you wake up. Dr Bhardwaj recommends a simple but powerful practice:
Write these emotions down in a small morning journal, along with any real-life situations that feel connected to them. “The act of recording,” Dr Bhardwaj says, “helps you identify which emotional processes your brain is trying to resolve.” Over time, journaling can reveal patterns: people who appear frequently, recurring situations, or emotional themes like abandonment, pressure, guilt, or desire for freedom.
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.