Let’s Talk: How to rekindle your sex life after having a baby

Clearly, this decrease in sex drive among couples is more nuanced than researchers initially thought. While lack of sleep and fatigue are the predominant causes, postpartum sex drive may also be heavily influenced by self-identity issues. Body dissatisfaction and related clinical implications, postpartum mental health issues – including identity crises – directly impact women’s sex drives.

How, then, do you rekindle your sex life? Well, for starters, make sure you’ve gotten the go-ahead from your doctor. A woman’s body takes time to heal post-pregnancy and usually doctors advise waiting for four-six weeks after delivery before having sex.

Once you’ve checked that box, here are a few tips to nudge you in the general direction of postpartum sexual bliss:

Talk it out
Connection is the most important element during the postpartum phase, says Dr Saltz. “Both parties need to acknowledge that having children does mean sacrificing personal time…it is important for the marriage that you spend private time together. Make time for dates. Make time to talk about how your life is changing.” And while you’re at it, indulge in some sexy talk too!

Switch it up with oral sex
If you or your partner are not ‘in the mood’, you certainly do not have to go all the way. Don’t feel pressured into doing something you don’t want to. Replace full-blown sex with oral sex instead – it feels just as great and still serves as a way to feel closer to your partner. Not even in the mood for oral sex? Replace it with cuddling and kissing. Any kind of physical intimacy is a good starting point, says Dr Saltz.

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No-bed sex
Who says you need to always have sex in the bedroom? Is your baby fast asleep? Do you have the house to yourselves? Proceed to sexy times with your partner on the living room couch. Chores can wait. Just a simple switch goes a long way in keeping things fun and fresh say experts.

Give your partner an erotic massage
What a blissful way to get rid of all that fatigue and stress. Research has shown that communicating through touch has a deeper and far more profound effect than we realize. Touch is our primary language of love and compassion. So light up those candles, grab some soothing massage oil and give your partner a sensual rub-down.

Final fantasy
After a day of changing dirty diapers and equally dirty dishes, fantasy and role play can serve an as incredible mood enhancer. “For women sex is 90 per cent mental,” says Dr Saltz. “Think about what turns you on and, if you are comfortable sharing that with your partner, it is sure to turn him/her on, too.”

Think about what you and your partner enjoy and work around your routine to make sure you have some personal time together. Take it slow and easy, and try to enjoy each other’s bodies without specific expectations of where it will lead. And before you know it, things will be exactly where you want them to be.