Arranged marriages often come with unique dynamics, especially when one partner wishes to move quickly into commitment. Navigating such situations can be challenging, particularly when expectations and behaviours change after engagement or marriage. Dhanashree Verma recently opened up about her experience with cricketer Yuzvendra Chahal on reality show Rise and Fall. She shared, “It was love and arranged both. Basically, he wanted to get married without dating, and I wasn’t even planning for anything like that. I got convinced due to the amount of love that was poured into the whole process. We did our roka (engagement) in August, and then we got married in December. During that time, I travelled with him, and we stayed together. I started seeing subtle changes in his behaviour. There is a difference between how people act when they want something compared to when they get it.” She added, “Even though I saw him changing, I put my trust in him and the relationship. My problem is that I love giving too many chances to the people around me. But eventually, I got done with it. I tried to do everything I could from my side and give one hundred per cent. I’ll always be concerned for him; that much I can guarantee.” How common is it for behaviours to shift after engagement or marriage? Sakshi Mandhyan, psychologist and founder at Mandhyan Care, tells indianexpress.com, “Behavioural shifts after engagement or marriage are quite common. People often behave to the best of their abilities initially while seeking acceptance; we call this impression management. It is important to note that the early stages of impression are mostly positive, and triggers are absent, as both partners are still learning about each other. As we progress in commitment, comfort, and preconceived notions take over. Underlying personality patterns and unmet expectations begin to surface. I describe this as the stage of realignment. It becomes crucial to pay attention to the difference between the ideal self (what one thinks of oneself) and the real self (what can be seen in action), emotional consistency, communication style, and empathy during this phase.” View this post on Instagram A post shared by Dhanashree Verma (@dhanashree9) Balancing trust and self-protection in relationships Mandhyan states, “Trust is essential, but so is emotional boundary-setting. I typically explain to clients that love without the contribution from other attributes can blur the line between compassion and self-neglect. Repeated disappointments can lead to intermittent reinforcement, a pattern where inconsistent affection keeps someone emotionally hooked despite unhappiness.” The balance lies in trusting actions more than promises and recognising when forgiveness becomes enabling. Healthy trust entails allowing vulnerability while also preserving self-respect. Strategies to manage misunderstandings, maintain honest communication, and prevent assumptions Mandhyan notes, “As far as strategies are concerned, in relationships, assumptions often grow in the space where there is an absence of transparent communication. I recommend using reflective listening, where each partner repeats what they understood before reacting. This reduces misinterpretation and defensiveness.” Couples can also benefit from setting clear emotional contracts, she says, which means defining what loyalty, respect, and space mean to each of them. Early intervention through couples counselling can prevent issues from hardening into mistrust. The goal is not to avoid conflict but to approach it with curiosity rather than accusation.
