When BTS’ Suga bought lottery tickets out of desperation, hid serious injury from Big Hit: Rapper’s painful journey to fame

Just like his fellow members, Suga has spoken about gruelling hardships he faced from childhood, to his idol trainee days where he barely had any financial support, and had to do several odd jobs. It’s during his school days that he became passionate about music. However, he was often told that it was not a viable option. In one of his live sessions, he had said, “We’re often told, if you do stuff like music, you will make your family broke. I had heard so many of these. If you hear that a lot, you can’t help but worry.”

Later, he admitted that his parents wanted him to get a stable job as a civil servant. “They really disapproved of me doing music for half a year, I got hit. We fought. I did all that and that’s how I got to make music. Now they go around bragging.”

Times were tough as Suga sought work in a recording studio in school. While underground rappers looked to work with him, he didn’t get paid for it. He composed songs and wrote lyrics. He started rapping and giving performances, but still earned nothing for it. He explained to Grazia that the nature of work was such that despite working in a studio, he got no income and it was difficult to pay for food and transport.

 

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Becoming an idol trainee

Suga had auditioned to become a producer, but Big Hit wanted him as an idol trainee. Realising that this was an opportunity he couldn’t lose, he decided to take up the chance. Before he knew it, he was ‘being forced to dance’, something that he wasn’t used to. “They made me dance, and for three years, they didn’t let me out of the hostel,” he later laughed.

Trainee days were just as difficult, if not more, as he barely had any income. Later, he told his band members that he would buy lottery tickets out of desperation. “I felt so hopeless when we were trainees. I bought one lottery ticket every week.” He even revealed that the numbers would come in his dreams. “A pig would appear and tell me the numbers in Korean.” He took up a job as a delivery boy, and once got into an accident where he injured his shoulder. Suga lied to his band members that he had fallen down the stairs, when in fact, he had an accident. “I was riding the bike, when I got hit at the intersection. The next day, I couldn’t move my shoulder. I didn’t tell the agency. I thought that they’d let me go if I told them.”

Debut and eventual fame

 There was much frustration after their debut, and the band wondered why none of their songs were able to create any sort of buzz. Later, he recalled that he used to wonder during their early days, why they weren’t successful despite all their hard work. As Suga was the producer and one of the songwriters of BTS, he was deeply affected — and so he would stay up for nights and days without sleep to work more on his lyrics.

 

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Suga’s anger, frustration and depression were reflected in his lyrics. In 2018, he openly talked about his mental health issues and said, “Anxiety and loneliness seem to be with me for life. I put a lot of meaning on how I should work it out, but seems like I have to study it my entire life. He added, “With my lyrics, I wanted to say I am anxious, and so are you. Let’s find a way to learn together.” In 2022, he explained to Vogue Korea that he channelled his rage and inferiority complex into most of his songs, and how it had guided him in the beginning till now.”

BTS is now a global K-Pop sensation and Suga is considered one of the most popular rappers, with his mixtapes peaking on Billboard.