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Ram Gopal Varma was just 33 when he delivered Rangeela, which proved to be a major box-office success. And he was 36 when he delivered the cult classic Satya. He also helmed films like Jungle (2000), and Company in 2002. His horror drama Bhoot is considered one of the best Bollywood horror films of all time. Over the years, the success of these movies “blinded” the director, making him lose his focus and changing his choice of films.
Now, after the re-release of Satya after 26 years, RGV confessed losing his focus and breaking the trust of the people who believed in him after the success of Satya and Rangeela. Taking to his X handle, the 62-year-old filmmaker said, “By the time SATYA was rolling to an end, while watching it 2 days back for 1st time after 27 yrs, I started choking with tears rolling down my cheeks and I dint care if anyone would see. The tears were not just for the film, but were more for what happened since.”
Comparing making a film to child birth, Ram Gopal Varma said that he made Satya without realising what he was creating and was too obsessed with his next moves that he failed to understand what he had created with Satya.
“Till 2 days back I ignored the countless inspirations it sparked by dismissing it as just another step in my journey towards an objective less destination,” he wrote.
The filmmaker regretted not setting Satya as a benchmark film for his future work. “I also realised I didn’t just cry for the tragedy in that film but I also cried in joy for that version of myself .. And I cried in guilt for my betrayals of all those who trusted me due to SATYA.”
Sharing how success got to his head, RGV said, “I became drunk not on alcohol but on my own success and my arrogance though I didn’t know this till 2 days back. When the bright lights of a RANGEELA or a SATYA blinded me, i lost my vision and that explains my meandering into making films for shock value or for gimmick effect or to make a vulgar display of my technical wizardry or various other things equally meaningless and in that careless process, forgetting such a simple truth that technique utmost can elevate a given content but it can’t carry it.”
He added, “My very unique vision that drove me to create something path breaking in cinema also blinded me to the value of what i myself made and I became a man hurriedly running so fast looking up towards the horizon. that I forgot to look down at the garden I’d planted beneath my feet , and that explains my various falls from grace.”
Regretting that he can’t change anything that happened in the past, the filmmaker promised to himself that moving forward, his “films will be made with a reverence towards why I wanted to become a director in the 1st place.”
He wrote, “I so wish I could go back in time and made this one cardinal rule for myself , that before deciding on any film to make , I should watch SATYA once again… If I followed that rule I am sure I would not have made 90% of the films I made since then.”
RGV shared his post was also a wake up call to every filmmaker, who get carried away in self indulgence due to their own state of mind at any given moment without measuring it against the standards set by either themselves or others.
He concluded his post, writing “Finally now i took a vow that whatever little of my life is left, I want to spend it sincerely and create something as worthy as SATYA and this truth I swear on SATYA.”
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