AR Rahman says fame took a ‘toll on family life’; calls film directors his friends: ‘Fans don’t even let you eat’

AR Rahman said that his family life suffered because of the fame that caused a lack of privacy. He and wife Saira Banu divorced in 2024.

AR Rahman (right) and wife Saira Banu (left) at daughter's wedding reception. (Photo: Manisha Koirala/Instagram)

AR Rahman is one of the most popular music composers in the country and such fame often comes at the expense of one’s privacy. In a recent chat, Rahman said that this lack of privacy actually took a toll on his family life as it did not allow him much private time with his family. AR Rahman and his wife Saira Banu separated after a 29 year marriage in 2024. He shares three children with her. Rahman said that while in Hollywood, celebrities often snap back when they are asked to take pictures while they are in a restaurant, Indians don’t really do that.

Rahman, in a chat with Nikhil Kamath, said that he steps out “very rarely” and when he does, he is “prepared” to deal with fans who come asking for selfies. He said that the only time this bothers him is when he has just traveled on a long flight but he acknowledged that this was a “part of the game.”

When asked how he steps out for dinner in Chennai, where he lives for most part of the year, he took a sigh and said, “That is the irony of my life. That’s what actually took a toll on my family life, when no one allows you to eat.” Rahman said that even when he goes to attend weddings, no one allows him to eat as the other guests are too keen to take pictures with him. “Even in a marriage, when you go there, when you are eating, people say, ‘Can I take a photograph?’ I say, ‘I am eating.’ They say, ‘But we are going to go. We have to go’,” he said.

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Rahman said that people refuse to understand that the other person might be eating, and has a life of his own. “They don’t understand that the person is eating. He is a human being. He’s not been bought by you. But then you understand how important you are in their life and they don’t want to miss the chance. So I never eat in marriages. I just go over, wish them,” he said and added that this doesn’t happen in Hollywood.

“Whenever I have worked with rockstars abroad, they, just with a straight face, say, ‘I don’t do that, sorry’. Whether it is a Hollywood actor, they are straight on the face. That’s why people don’t come because most of them are like that. They just snap and say, ‘No I don’t do that.’ Indian actors are more kind,” he said and explained, “Because we are a different race.”

Rahman was also asked about his friends and he said that there is no time to maintain and cultivate friendships. He said that he finds it difficult to get the family together too as they too, have their own lives. “Even to spend time with family, I have to make sure that I pull them on to dinner or something where also not everyone is free, they all have their own lives now.”

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Talking about his other friends, he said, “All the directors are my friends.” When asked if he was friends with people outside of work, he said, “I don’t treat it like work. When I work with people like Aanand L Rai or Imtiaz Ali… I love what I am doing.” He said that there are lots of younger people with him at work who are doing some “amazing work” and he eats with them and hangs out with them.

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