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Dashavtar (in Hindi almost a year later) revolves around,let’s see,a vial of deadly virus stolen from a US lab where Govind Ramasamy works,a Japanese ninja who tries saving it from a rogue American spy and his sexy Mata Hari—like accomplice,a self-important airport official hot on the heels of the bad guys,a senile old woman who shoves the vial down an idol,a Dalit leader with great oratory skills,a Sikh pop singer who goes by the name of Avtar Singh,a 7-feet tall fellow who looms over everyone,and,oh yeah,also George W Bush. Yes,the ex-president of the United States,who was still in the White House when the original released last year.

The only link between these wildly disparate characters is that they are all played by The One To The Power Of Ten Kamal Haasan.

To talk of plot and logic would serve only to insult the film. Suffice it to say that I found the Hindi version a little more fun,because most of the dialogue is hugely mirth-inducing. Kamal Haasan,whose spoken Hindi is excellent if faintly accented as always,leads from the front,and despite the terrible make-up in some of his selves,reminiscent of Hindustani,his switcheroos are quite amazing.

Asin,who’s just wowed the North with her chatterbox act in Ghajini,should be thankful that Dashavtar released afterward. If we’d first seen her in two oily plaits,clutching an idol,and squealing just like Sridevi did in her bad films,we wouldn’t have given her the time of day. Mallika Sherawat is slightly better off: she gets to shoot people,before she’s polished off. Jaya Prada has a tiny,forgettable role.

Clearly,the ladies are decidedly second,third and fourth fiddle. K S Ravikumar’s Dashavtar is a Kamal act from start to finish. It goes on and on and on. But it has a few enjoyable set-pieces,and fast-paced action sequences. Yenjoy.

Darjeeling,but limited
Movie Name: Chowrasta,Crossroads Of Love
Starring: Atul Kulkarni,Victor Bannerjee,Roopa Ganguly,Naved Aslam and Neil Bose
Directed by: Anjan Dutta
Showing at: Inox

A sorrowing tea-planter writes love letters to his no-longer-present-wife,and his no- longer-peaceful-town. A failed actress,shows up to tax her former husband of past sins and find forgiveness. A squabbling couple finds each other. A separatist looks for freedom. And all of them crisscross Darjeeling’s main street,going their way.

Darj,as its residents like to call it,has a feel all its own. You wish,though,that the characters had been given more room for manoeuver: The just-married wife keeps harping,without a break,on the lack of responsibility that her husband (Naved Aslam) shows. The bitter shop-soiled actress (Roopa Ganguly) who’s had so many affairs she doesn’t know who her son belongs to,deserved more of a back story. So does the gun-toting separatist (Atul Kulkarni),who gets involved in a kidnapping sub-plot which peters out.

Music lifts the film. Neel,director Anjan Dutt’s son,layers Chowrasta with a great soundtrack,and a superb song,set in a pub,which the young husband sings for his wife.

No Novelty
Movie Name: Monster vs aliens
Directed by: Rob Letterman
Voices: Reese Witherspoon,Seth Rogen,Hugh Lauri,Will Arnett,Kiefer Sutherland,Rainn Wilson,Stephen Colbert,Paul Rudd,Julie White,Jeffrey Tambor,Amy Poehler,Ed Helms,Renée Zellweger,John Krasinski,

Showing at: E-square,Inox,City pride(Kithrud),Gold Big Cinemas,Big Cinemas,Victory

Dreamworks brings to screen a 3-D animation or,to put it exactly,a Tru3D animation. That itself is enough to get most children,dragging many parents,into the theatres. However,the quality of the production apart,Monsters vs Aliens—from the makers of Shrek 2 and Shark Tale and directed by Rob Letterman,Conrad Vernon—is a tired effort,devoid of imagination or novelty.

From transforming a nervous would-be bride into a symbol of girl power to pitting her against aliens who look no different,coming out of spaceships which look no different,wielding weapons which look no different,and seeking power that seems no different,the film just doesn’t come up with anything new.

The joke seems to be in-house,on Steven Spielberg’s own eponymous E.T.,but that’s likely to be lost on the kids,if they are the target audience. As will be most of the jokes,on America’s UFO obsession,and at the expense of that much-maligned creature,the US President (here he jives to greet the ET). A General,voiced by none other than Kiefer Sutherland,goes by the name WR Monger.

Susan (Reese Witherspoon),alias Ginormica,the monster who emerges as the lead alien slayer,is also driven largely by anger at her self-centred fiancé. Again a subject the children are not likely to relate to.

On top of it,the film fails to truly capitalise on its 3-D USP,with only a handful of scenes generating real shock or awe.

The monsters themselves,though,are adorable,particularly the glutinous BOB,who can be anything he wants to. There is a hint of a sequel,in Paris. Maybe by then the film will get dimensions other than Tru3D.