Marriage ke side effects

And though the vows don’t exactly spell it out,amongst the many adjustments that marraige calls for is that of a restricted personal social life,a shrinking social circle once ‘we’ gains dominance over ‘I’.

Tejshree Shridhar who got married eight months back,says,“The structure of my socialising has changed a great deal after I tied the knot. Before I got married,I could call up and hang out with friends or even show up at their houses anytime I felt like. We could just sit and shoot the breeze aimlessly doing nothing. After marriage,everything became task oriented. I started finding excuses not to hang out without purpose. Time became more important than ever.”

Not only women,but also men face and undergo the same situation. Anurag Mehndiratta is married to Neha Mehndiratta for three years. He says,“We had a love marriage and my social life shrunk considerably the moment we started dating,I didn’t mind it in the beginning as the initial years of courtship were fun filled,there were so many things we wanted to do together. We could not get enough of each other and not-socializing with friends did not seem to affect our happiness.”

“However,” he adds,“After marriage a lot changed.We would not go for impulsive long drives ignoring work and friends. I had to travel a great deal for my work and her promotion also made her job more demanding. Now I feel the need of my friends to be around but I know they too have their own priorities.”

Married for eleven years,Monika Garg has a different story to tell. Monika says,“Before I got married,my parents never allowed me to socialise,my family was very conservative and there was no concept such as “hanging-out” in our small town — a story of most of the small town girls. After marriage I moved to California with my husband and joined work,it was a different culture altogether and I found a large circle of friend around me. It was a new found freedom.” When asked if she feels there is a shrinking of social circle after marriage,Monika says,“I don’t think there is anything shrinking,but you choose to socialise with common friends mostly. You can only have friends you both gel well with and share equal comfort level.”

Well,whatever the case maybe,the institution of marriage has survived and survived well for hundreds of years. As they say — Living on Earth may be expensive,but it includes an annual free trip around the Sun! It’s the same with marriage — you win some,you lose some.

Anuradha Beniwal