Eat or be eaten

Serve everything you have. The china isn’t as important as what’s in it. (That said,I have been served biryani in paper plates—guys,we aren’t doing frat parties anymore-so no paper,and certainly no plastic).

Home-cooked is far classier than catered,unless you have more than 25 guests; it shows the hostess has taken the effort. A good hostess must never act like cooking/ catering food was a big deal,so be generous with the variety. Serve at least three desserts,even if you have just 10 people over.

Eat with your guests,don’t make them feel guilty and starve yourself until they leave. Don’t be stuck in the kitchen toiling away. If it’s your party,you need to enjoy it.

I like guests who bring presents. I am one of those who won’t do a bottle of wine or a cheap brownie box; I will bring what I think the host/hostess will enjoy keeping and it may not be pricey. But I especially like a hostess who gives away a memento; a trinket,a set of handmade soaps or fragrant oils. Guests of all ages like back-presents.

Thank-you notes are precious and Victorian but still foreign to Indians. Nothing beats a handwritten invite and phone call,an SMS invite can be forgiven only if you are a pesky PR person,but you will still be a pesky PR person.

Do put on a nice dress,whether you are a guest or a hostess. Jeans and t-shirt only mean you don’t care about the other. An imposingly big bouquet is a must-do; your house must be dressed up too.

Talk to everyone in the room; if there’s a moment of long silence don’t stress about it,guests are far more awkward about making small talk and let them find their way. Always have cloth napkins,paper napkins are as bad as paper plates.

On the menu,have one or two things that are universally liked,but have one or two unusual or even exotic dishes. More and more people are fitness-conscious,so go easy on the deep fried. Serve champagne in flutes and not a wine glass please. These gaffes could be forgiven in the ’80s but not when some farmers in this country now own vineyards.

And yes,do invite me. I promise to be less catty and I will bring a gift.

(namrata.sharma@expressindia.com)