Journalism of Courage
Advertisement
Premium

Curb Your Enthusiasm

What will be the Eden Garden s like on April 1 (when the Kolkata Knight Riders face Deccan Chargers)? A stadium full of shouting,applauding,sweating,Shah-Rukh-Khan-spotting...

What will be the Eden Garden s like on April 1 (when the Kolkata Knight Riders face Deccan Chargers)? A stadium full of shouting,applauding,sweating,Shah-Rukh-Khan-spotting,swearing,Mexican-waving,fish cutlet-popping fanatics or should we brace ourselves for empty stands?

For an answer,tune into any local radio channel or flip through the morning’s paper. There is blood spattered on the fourth and fifth page,but the front page will talk about Shah Rukh Khan and his merry men. Them arriving at the airport (garlanded and bleary-eyed),them checking into a five-star hotel (with a thali-tika welcome by gushing hostesses in silk sarees),them practicing in the Eden Gardens (hairy legs on Swiss balls) ,them attending a late night fashion show organized by Shah Rukh Khan (spiked hair,fake smiles) . And if it’s not the men then it’s the ever-smiling Juhi Chawla (don’t get us wrong,we think she is a sight for sore eyes). She visits temples; she invites big guns over for matches and she plays a good hostess to the Tollywood crowd. And all this for what? A team that has managed to make disappointment a way of life for most Kolkatans…

And if it’s not the papers,then it’s the radio where the Korbo,lorbo song plays in loop. Where jaded RJs,in their jaded,pan-India-accented English ask you to scream harder for the team,buy tickets for the game and turn up in Eden Gardens decked up in the Cadbury’s wrapper-like team t-shirt. Don’t they know thatall this sounds morbid when the team is in a losing streak? The incessant korbo-lorbo jingles,the theme songs and the be-the-biggest-fan competitions. Like a cellphone blaring out a bhangra tune in the middle of a funeral procession,like a smile frozen in the middle of a conversation — sad and depressing.

Don’t get us wrong,this is not meant to be an obituary. We have no intentions of writing the team off. We sincerely hope that Dada and his men manage a stellar comeback. They get to take their purple-gold (Cadbury’s wrapper-like) jerseys off and do a Lords. And the King Khan finally gets to jiggle his hips to Dard-e-disco in the stands with his adoring cronies. But till then can we be spared the embarrassing blitzkrieg? The jingles,the front-page articles,the competitions,the jaded Rjs (with jaded pan-India accents) goading us to cheer the team and Shah Rukh Khan’s dimples. Actually,the dimples we can deal with,junk the rest. Please.

Curated For You

Stay updated with the latest - Click here to follow us on Instagram

Tags:
  • Kolkata talk
Edition
Install the Express App for
a better experience
Featured
Trending Topics
News
Multimedia
Follow Us
Sharper, light touchWhy Priyanka Gandhi has got people talking
X