Name Game

You want something original but not so original that other kids snigger at yours in the playground. An ideal name should have a profound meaning,be easy on the tongue,and of course,be completely undiscovered. I find it a little bizarre when Indian parents choose Russian or even Icelandic names for kids with no historical context whatsoever. Maybe,it’s in keeping with the trend of that dreaded word — globalisation. But there’s a difference between pretentious and unique. Parents,of course,will fight bitterly and rubbish each others’ name choices,friends and relatives will gaze at you in horror when you read out your shortlist and many of your dream names will vanish before coming into existence.

I notice many more Indian children nowadays carry hyphenated versions of both parents surnames. In this generation,“A” names appear to be the most popular,possibly because parents think their child will be among the first in roll call,maybe even get to sit up front and study harder. A generation of Vikrams and Priyas has given birth to Anyas,Aliyahs and Avanas. My son cribs that his turn comes last in every activity in school since his name begins with V and he’s in Section F. Some schools now also do the roll call in a reverse alphabetical order so as to be more fair.

There is some inconclusive research suggesting that normal,popular names make for better adjusted kids and quirkily named children are more prone to being rebellious. This clearly doesn’t hold true if you’re a celebrity: Gwyneth Paltrow’s daughter is called Apple,a very adorable name I think but questionably weird for regular folk. Same goes for Aaradhya,Aishwarya Rai-Bachchan’s daughter,a very hard sounding unpronounceable name for little children,at least. I’m not sure how much names reveal about kids but they tell you a lot about the people doing the naming.

I’ve met a 10-year-old Zen who was returning from an art appreciation class. Zen may be a really cool name but if your name is a talking point,you better end up doing something really cool,so a parent must think if he wants to even subtly pressure the child with the burden of a wild name. Not every Durga will turn out to be like Nagpal.

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