Flights Without Fancy

Now we see Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt papped at airports looking like they were dragged in by cats. Lindsay Lohan is unrecognisable without her make-up and don’t even get me started on Julia Roberts’ ‘hair don’t’ on her flight to Delhi. Pretty Woman? My toe.

In the good old days,there was great romance associated with air travel. I guess because it was infrequent and expensive,it was considered a privilege,not drudgery. My grandfather,a seasoned traveller,always wore a suit when he was taking a plane,even if he was flying Economy. Women wore their best saris and their shiniest machine-cut gold sets. These days,men wear jeans—singularly the most uncomfortably thick fabric to have been invented. And women wear tracksuits: as if they intend to run to their destinations in case they miss their flight. Tracks are a strict no-no even if they are from the terribly gaudy Juicy Couture (even J Lo isn’t wearing JC anymore).

My pet plane peeve is when people wear sneakers. Running shoes are an unforgivable eyesore. Some people wear them because they’re too heavy to pack; others wear them because they believe they’re the most comfortable footwear. To the first,I say throw out those jeans instead. To the second,try flats — a pair of stylish flip-flops even.

Then there are those who dress fabulously to the airport but change into their pajamas once they board. I have several friends who carry their PJs rolled up in their handbags. It is a solution,but only if you are one of those who carries her stilettos in a paper bag to work and wears her flats to get there. I cannot fathom why anyone would be comfortable changing in a toilet that’s smaller than a bathtub. Plus,a sardine-packed aircraft is hardly your private bedroom.

Victoria Beckham,who wears high heels to pick up her kids from school,used to be one of those who changed in-flight. Once on a flight from LA to London ,a bird got lodged on her plane’s engine and everyone had to be evacuated. The poor girl was in her pajamas and had removed her make-up,and I suspect that’s the last time she ever changed on an aircraft.

What you wear on a plane depends on many factors: who you are travelling with and who you are meeting at the other end; whether it’s a short flight or a long haul; whether you are travelling on work or vacation.

But a few rules must be followed: wear layers,try monochromes,moisturise every hour,carry a chic shawl and always wear nice shoes. Even if these don’t guarantee you’ll meet someone dishy or get an upgrade,it doesn’t hurt to pretend you are Ms Bergman.namratanow@gmail.com