The fraught politics of Delhi’s dog-poo

The Mayor was gentlemen enough to apologise, and Delhi-boy enough to put the blame on his hapless staff, before starting to shuffle away.

But then, with with a delighted Gotcha smile on his face, he said: “You’re walking your dog here. You’re breaking the law, too”.

Good try, Gupta-ji—but no cigar.

For the last couple of years, municipal authorities and RWAs have been putting up no-dogs signs in public parks across the city, claiming, in essence, that dog-poo is ruining parks for everyone else. In my opinion, these no-dogs board tell us something important about our national talent for mis-diagnosing problems, and coming up with hideous solutions that cause more harm than good.

The first thing about these no-dogs signs is this: putting up a board doesn’t make a rule. For example, the municipal authorities cannot put up a board barring people wearing blue from using a public park—the operative word here being public. There’s some fairly good reasons for this: allow municipalities to make up any rules they like, and the next thing you know, they’ll be barring lovely-dovey couples, or Nigerians, or Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh shakhas—because for some of us, each of these are unwanted nuisances.

Instead, the municipal authority has an obligation to frame policies that serve the public good–for example, to mediate the rival interests of dog-owners who want to walk their pets off-leash, cat-owners who do not want their pets harassed by dogs, and parakeet owners who do not want their birds eaten by the cats.

But all there is, as things stand, is a board, that, in essence, tells me to F**k off. Like other pet-owners in Civil Lines, I just ignore the board. F**k you too, unsigned blue board.

Part of the reason for my defiance is that there is zip evidence pet-dog-poo is actually a problem. I invited Gupta-ji to walk with me, and count the number of stray dogs in the park, as well as monkeys—some of which have bitten kids and adults, causing rabies. I also suggested we take a look at the large swathes of bird poo splattered across the park by pigeons, known to carry diseases such as Chiamdiosis and Psittacosis. I offered to organise a poo-census, to—literally—weigh the relative harm caused by pets.

Gupta-ji’s expression suggested to me that he was not inclined to participate in making a scientific determination of this problem, so I suggested other options.

How about fining dog-owners who do not pick up after their pets using a pooper-scooper—the standard practice everywhere in the civilised world? Hard to monitor? Then, how about setting up a CCTV system to monitor errant pet-owners, which would also have the benefit of making single women using the park feel more secure? How about incentivising poo-collection, by giving a firm the rights to collect waste and produce manure?

Nope, lets just ban dogs instead, not that we actually know their poo is the problem, and not that it will actually solve any problem, or achieve anything—after all, people’s dogs will just poo somewhere else.

I could have been really pedantic about this, and told Gupta-ji the municipality really ought check out the Supreme Court observations on animal welfare, delivered last year, before putting up no-dogs signs. I could have reminded him that the Animal Welfare Board of India promised the Delhi High Court last year that it would evolve a consensus, and issue guidelines.

But I really don’t think this is something that should need litigation and lawyers—just a bit of feeling for fellow citizens, and common sense. Having said that, I’ve grown up in Delhi, and should know better than to expect common sense from the city government.