Woman Power

The house is sprawling but we share the workload. Except for Arjun, who studies in our school, the rest have to be packed off to their schools. By 8.30 a.m, we get ready for our school, which starts at 9 a.m.

Since our school functions till 12 noon, there is enough time for us to look after the home-front. Evenings are generally for helping the children with homework, and getting together as a family. When I have the time, I read, whether fiction or something educational.

Managing a house and school together is not easy….
… but everyone chips in. Keeping our huge grounds clean is time-consuming. However, that is what made us fall in love with the place when we first came from Mumbai.

The men may not help too much with the running of the house, but there are certain things they do which are positively helpful. For instance, locking up every night is Roger’s responsibility. And with a sprawling house like ours, with so many doors, that can be quite a job. We have also sort of adopted two neighbourhood dogs, and when they are hurt or sick, Roger gives them medicines and even dresses their wounds.

Being the perfect partner….
My husband is quite easy-going. Of course, he doesn’t potter around in the kitchen but he is not gender-biased that certain things have to be done by women only. For example, just the other day, as we were getting ready to go out, my daughter spotted a big tear in her jeans. Roger asked her to fetch a needle and thread and darned it in a jiffy. On the other hand, I help with the homework. In some aspects, I am more traditional and Roger believes in giving more space, while in others, it is the opposite.

As for household expenses, if it is a common item which will be useful for the whole household, then we discuss it together, otherwise we women have a free hand to buy whatever we want. For example, kitchen items are generally our field, but it was Roger who suggested that we go in for a washing machine and a more modern cooking range, because it would be time- and labour-saving.

I splurge on….
Generally, I do not spend a lot on dresses or other frivolous things. But we do like to go out on holidays and that is when we spend freely. We go to Goa at least three times a year because that is where Roger’s mother lives. Mahabaleshwar is another favourite holiday spot and you know how expensive that place can be.

I am close to my children….
My son is, of course, very small, but with my daughter, I discuss many things. She goes to a co-ed school so I even discuss relationships with her. There is no generation gap between us. The values that I impart most to them are that they should grow up with a loving, caring attitude. Another thing I am very particular about is not wasting any time. I just hate it when they dawdle around and keep postponing a job which needs to be done anyway.

Living in a large family…
… has more advantages than disadvantages. One learns to share, care and compromise. The children pick up a lot of good values and beliefs. All this helps in the larger picture of coping with life. Another big plus point is that there is never any loneliness. If you are facing some problems, someone is always there to listen to you.

Of course, there may be disagreements, but you learn to take it in your stride and not let it affect your relationship. For example, when we wish to introduce some change in the school, my sister and I may argue a lot, sometimes late into the night. But when we get up, we are smiling and friendly again.

In a large family, everyone helps out. We entertain a lot of guests, but that is never a problem because my mother is exceptional in that field. She may be 80, but she is very active. She is the one with the ideas for decoration or what cutlery or crockery to take out. She plans everything, we just have to execute it, and I tell you, that saves a lot of time and headache.

Compromise, caring, sharing and helping each other is the essence of life for anyone. That is what brings ultimate happiness.