Why, dear God, did you give us a funny bone? You’re clearly a humorist yourself, with a pretty warped sense of it, may we say. Just think of a camel, a pig, a pineapple or the mechanics of procreation. Aren’t they simply too ridiculous? Were you perhaps being kind, building in humour as a natural corrective? Because every time things get too intense, that funny bone itches and lightens us up. It’s lovely therefore, especially on Budget morning, to think of all the people who laughed at the world and at themselves, because otherwise we’d be howling in despair at the pity and terror of your world and rushing, like lemmings, to leap off the edge. At such times, holy words have the power to change our mood positively — if only we can remember them on time.As American satirist Dolly Parker famously said: "I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things."But quoting scripture everlastingly can get addictive and, occasionally, even tiresome. It’s hard to stay on a spiritual high ALL the time, when there’s work to be done. Not all of us can be Meera Bai, you know, dancing and singing eternally to the glory of God. Sometimes it’s the regular guys who utter sarcastic things, which are actually pretty deep comments on the awful truth that existence is pretty pointless (of course, we all construct elaborate dodges from it through cyclical short-term goals like Get A Job, Get A House, Get Married, Get A Kid, Get Kid A Job, Get Kid A House, Get Kid Married, ad infinitum).That’s why you might like this gallant attempt at humour (black) from French poet Charles Baudelaire: "What do I care if you are good? Be beautiful! And be sad!" A diabetic might disagree, though, with the Californian blonde who said crossly, "I’m tired of all this business of beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?"The voice of old Homer warns us from circa 900 BCE, "Pray, for all men need the aid of the gods." Why should that make you chuckle, you ask? Well, isn’t it funny how that’s never changed despite iPods, SUVs and WMDs? Or even decaf, hair highlights and Chanel 5? Perhaps, God, you’re really George Santayana. Because everything you do seems to be saying, like he did: "There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval." Face it, God, nobody’s ever dropped us a postcard from those fancy heavens that your travel agents (priests/prophets) insist we should get visas for — and pay such high fees for in the form of good behaviour, charity and prayer. The joke’s on us, the masoom public, right?
