It was in December 2012 that this 48-year-old living in a small town of Sawantwadi district came out of jail after serving 18 years for double murder. While inside,he applied for mercy killing. In the seven months that he has been out,he has again sought euthanasia. Sitting in his ancestral home,where he stays alone,he says: During the crime,I suffered a severe spinal injury that left me an invalid. I feel I am a liability and not in any position to contribute to society. My conscience also doesnt permit me to live after taking human life. With his second mercy killing plea also rejected,he spends his day sweeping the house,collecting flowers for puja and gathering firewood for cooking. The highlight of his day is sitting down to write a letter (he writes at least one a day) to a pen pal and visiting the public library to read. We cannot build real friendships because of the tag we carry, says the 48-year-old,whose story was told by Girija Kir in Janmathep,her book on those serving life terms. Its like being on another planet,detached from society. There is no reformation except in the books. Even small-time offenders turn hardcore criminals. Those serving life terms are completely broken. An estimated 37 prisoners were released from Yerawada Jail in Pune alone in 2012 after serving life terms. In official records,their life after that is mostly a blank,unless they fall back into crime. Ichcharam Govind Bari got out of Paithan Jail in 2010,after 14 years behind bars. The 47-year-old has since got remarried and has an eight-month-old son. Working as a helper in a chemist store,he earns just Rs 3,500. But with the prison tag stuck to his name,Bari has few options. Inside the jail I was taught to use the power loom. But we dont have one in Jalgaon. If I had been trained in something else,like stitching or a masons job,I would have been able to set up my own thing, he rues. Besides there is the rejection from society. People are suspicious, Bari says,though there are some who stop by and talk. Meeran Borwankar,Additional Director General (Prisons), Maharashtra,admits that while they give inmates livelihood skills while they are in jail,after they leave,we dont have any mechanism to keep track of what they did with those skills. The Model Prison Manual,2003, includes a chapter on rehabilitation and aftercare. It observes that probation,aftercare,rehabilitation and follow-up of offenders shall form an integral part of the functions of the Department of Prisons and Correctional Services. The Maharashtra Prison Departments own motto is Reformation and Rehabilitation. More specifically,a section in the prison manual talks about providing subsistence money to cover initial expenditure after release,till such time as the released person reaches his/her family or obtains employment; provision of food; temporary accommodation till housing arrangements are made.. But the recommendations have not been adopted yet. Vilas Pandit Kapade,who is the in-charge of Open Jail,Yerawada,says,After a prisoner is released we dont keep in touch. We dont have a process for aftercare. Prison officials say there is little they can do in such situations. We used to have probation officers under the Prison Department till about 20 years ago. We have been writing to the government that they be brought back, says Borwankar. One of the organisations helping rehabilitation of prisoners,Navjeevan Mandal,takes on the responsibility for five-seven convicts a year. Says Suresh R Ranade,its chairman,We train them in skills that can be useful in jobs. We help them get a PAN card,certificates.. Santosh Bintade was only 23 years old and studying in a popular law college in Pune when he was sentenced to life term. When he came out of Jalgaon jail in 2009,after 14 years,he went back to his family in Jalgaon. When I told the truth,people would say the job they had was not suited for me. Though I wanted to improve,people were not letting me, says Bintade. The 41-year-olds life changed when he attended a Gandhi katha organised by the Gandhi Research Foundation,Jalgaon,and was offered a job. Colleagues were initially sceptical. Things have changed and I now go to jails,encouraging prisoners, says Bintade,who has since married and has a daughter. Having seen jail life from both sides,he wants the government to prepare prisoners coming out. There is another dimension to it,adds a wary Bintade. Its easy for people whove lived the prime years of their lives behind bars to go back to crime.