The Truth About Goa

A rich socialite told two stories that revealed more than she intended. “One: I went to my sweeper’s house and had lunch with her. Two: I fell from the second storey of a house and escaped without a scratch.” It said much of her sense of social equality that she thought we would never believe the first story was true. It was.

A writer at the table pitched in with,“One: I went underground with the Naxals,ate puffed rice,shared a blanket and had to borrow a lungi to go to the loo in the bushes. Two: I once shared a loo with Daler Mehndi and he was wearing gold underpants.” The first story was true.

A woman,known better as a social activist,said,“One: When I was young,I couldn’t afford a ticket. So,I travelled on the roof of a train from Nagpur to Mumbai. Two: At one point,I was so broke that when I was offered the chance to direct a blue film,I took it.” Everyone looked at her in new light when she told them the second one was true.

Another diner said,“One: I castrate dogs. Two: I castrate men.” The first was literally true – she was a vet.

The game reminded me of life in Goa strongly. Tourists see Story One. Once you get past living a life on the surface,Goa can suddenly show you Story Two. You discover to your shock that you have been living next to a lie. Sometimes literally.

One: A Tibetan monk moved next door to me. Originally from Germany,he had spent years pursuing Buddhism. Now he taught meditation. Two: I woke up one morning to find the police on my doorstep. Mr Monk had been mentioned in a an expose on paedophilia. He had vanished in the middle of the night.

One: The mainstay of my first few months in Goa was a friendly cabbie who decided to adopt me. He told me how to get a phone connection,advised me on where to buy what and generally fixed things. Two: A year later,I discovered that he was the neighbourhood fixer for everything,including any drug of your choice.

Let’s see how good your Goa lie detector is. Here are some stories for you to guess the truth about.

One: The International Film Festival of India is held in Goa — and at the official venues,a cup of tea costs more than a bottle of beer. Two: Alcoholics Anonymous released a report that estimated that 45 per cent of Goans are alcoholics.

One: You can tell a ‘Hindu’ fish curry from a ‘Christian’ one by the amount of turmeric used. Two: Those chunky delicious bits in the sorpotel are actually clotted pig blood.

One: Every monsoon,a dish called “jumping chicken” appears on the menu of some restaurants. You could get arrested for ordering it. Two: Thanks to large portions of Goa’s frogs being served up for dinner,malaria is now rampant in the state.

One: The inquisition that the Portuguese unleashed in Goa saw people being burnt,tortured and persecuted. It lasted 200 years. Two: The inquisition began in Goa at the behest of St Francis Xavier — the same saint revered by Goans.

One: Even today,Goans qualify for a Portuguese passport if they can trace their lineage back to the time of Portuguese rule. Two: While officially,it’s called the ‘Liberation’ of Goa,there are many old-timers who still call it the ‘Invasion’.

Goa lives on two levels. On the surface is the half-truth that the tourists see. The land of happy people,sun,sea,sand and susegaad. And living side by side is the real story. One that not even Goans want to acknowledge. Of a complex history,an uneasy present,and a terrifying future.

And the stories? All the stories in the Goa lie detector test are true. Yes,all of them. Never going to order sorpotel again,are you?

beachside@expressindia.com

(The writer,a Goa resident,is a painter,author and scriptwriter)