It Happens

I heard it from a smart-looking fifty-something banker with the latest BlackBerry in his hand as he drove his heavily stacked food cart over a young girls foot. I heard it again from a well-built Gujarati aunty as she rudely elbowed a small blonde person of indeterminate European origin. And I heard it once more,from a tacky teenager with faux attitude and henna-painted tattoo as she pushed a gaggle of 10-year-old schoolboys out of her way. What was uncanny was that regardless of shape and size,they all said it the same way. Hand on jutting hip,in the abrasive tones of an evil saas from a TV serial,head shaking from side to side with complete outrage. What made it weirder still was that they were clearly in the wrong. Yet It happens had replaced the obvious choice of I am so sorry.

Thats when it struck me. This phrase was the Indian answer to the very western word,whatever,that has now entered teenage lexicons all over the world. Young people use whatever to express love,hate and everything in between. But it is safe to say that nine out of 10 times it is used in place of a four-letter expletive that is still not socially acceptable. It happens is middle Indias middle finger. Because we lack the imagination to imbue whatever with the degree of vileness it needs to be effective,we settled for a phrase that conveys the same degree of contempt.

What is even more beautiful is that the term fits in perfectly with the belief of karma/fate. Someone runs you over it was fated. A store owner ignores your complaints call it destiny. You are overlooked in a queue it happens. See how neatly it all ties in? The phrase appeals to the Indian psyche even more because it bears no resemblance whatsoever to an apology. So there is no question of backing down or being the better man. In a situation in which you are wrong,only aggression can make it right and It happens suits the purpose. Finally,the reason It happens has become the go-to catchphrase is that it also appeals to our great desire to have the final say or the last word. What can your argument be to It happens? It doesnt? Actually,it already has!

Think about it. Do we mind our ps and qs. Do we think that politeness is a characteristic that must be taught? I dont think I have ever heard a young child use Please with his parents,let alone his babysitter. Instead demands are always screamed out in a shrill,obnoxious tone. But this is learnt behaviour. When was the last time you heard an Indian parent hush their child? Or tick them off for being offensive? On the other hand it is encouraged,photographed and labelled for posterity under cute instead of reprehensible. The same person grows up thinking civility doesnt exist. And then what happens? It happens. Rudeness becomes the Indian birthright.

Since all my stories revolve around travel and airports,it seemed only fitting that my desi whatever story would happen at Chattrapati Shivaji International Terminus at 4am. While I was standing in line to get my baggage X-rayed,a young woman and her 14-year-old daughter hurtled past and managed to nail me in my solar plexus with their suitcase handle. Out of breath and amazed at the dexterity to maim with luggage,I came out with a rather feeble,Excuse me. Mama San spun on her heel and shot me down with a perfect It happens, delivered with the perfect New Jersey-meets-Amdavad accent. I no longer felt pain. I had met the person who was the prototype. It happened. To me.

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