Tunnel vision on tube

The Saddam Saga: Just as TV character Rishabh (Kasauti Zindagi Kay) never ‘died’, so don’t know if Saddam Hussein is dead or alive. Late Tuesday night, anchors said Hussein was scheduled to address the nation. ‘‘Hussein failed to deliver,’’ CNN announced next morning like he was an absconding postman.

There followed the by-now-familiar analysis: CNN said the Pentagon had conducted a ‘‘minute inspection’’ of tapes of Saddam’s speeches, they had scrutinised curtains even stains on the furniture but no, they couldn’t confirm that he was alive. BBC’s man in Baghdad expressed astonishment: ‘‘I don’t know where these intelligence reports come from.’’ But even he hinted that the Saddam of one speech looked different from the Saddam of the next.

The Chemical Chimera: In this drama, we’re told the coalition forces are continually and desperately seeking substances of banned warfare. So far there have been a few gas masks, suits and a signboard found by one BBC correspondent which stated that the factory was a chemical factory. On Tuesday, after crushing the Ul an Ansar in the north, forces found ‘‘documents’’ which indicate chemical and biological weapons, a soldier told CNN’s Sadler. Yet no sign of the elusive, real thing. Judging by the masks and uniforms TV shows people wearing in Hong Kong, the coalition might like to search there?

The Bomb Scare: Joining Saddam and chemical weapons in the lost and found department are the bombs that fell in two Baghdad marketplaces which no one wants to own up to. For obvious reasons: there were civilian casualties. Tuesday, BBC investigated the ‘‘two tragedies’’. However, by the end of their investigation, we were none the wiser because though Independent correspondent Robert Fisk said it was ‘‘fantastic’’ to suppose the Iraqis could have deliberately placed evidence to incriminate the Americans, analyst Garfield said he thought it that is exactly what had happened. Which led the BBC anchor to conclude: ‘‘in the fog of war there are deliberate smokescreens.’’

Nothing to Report: CNN’s Mike Boettcher was equally enlightening, unsighted no doubt, by flares over the Basra sky he and we saw (Al Jazeera footage): ‘‘I don’t know the reason for them. I can’t say for certain’’ who shot them ‘‘well, there has been a lot of movement but there has been a lot of movement the last few days.’’ He ended lamely saying he thought the coalition forces used flares to light up the city but he could not ‘‘confirm’’ it.

An unusually circumspect Jim Clancy summed up the confusion all journalists felt reporting on this war: ‘‘We really don’t know any of the facts,’’ he remarked about Iraqi accusations that Americans attacked two buses of Voices in the Wilderness peaceniks.

Sometimes, people forget they are talking about human beings, not products. In a description of American casualties recuperating at the Ramstein Air Base in Germany, we were told, ‘‘they will be processed’’ before going home. Like Amul cheese? (CNN).

Quote of the day: A young American soldier up in the North of Iraq: ‘‘This is a beautiful country — the people are really nice, they give us food and stuff. I love it here.’’ (CNN). That’s just as well, since he’s there for a long haul.

Insults of the day: Once again, the Iraqis win this one shamelessly. Here’s Vice President Ramadan at his Tuesday press conference, describing the Saudi Arabian Minister who called for Saddam to step down. ‘‘You loser, you are too small to say anything about my leader’’. As for the Kuwaitis, ‘‘they are the cancer in the Arab body’’.

Lastly, why do you sometimes get the feeling that though this war is moving ‘‘rapidly’’ ahead, it isn’t going anywhere at all? Midday Tuesday, BBC’s anchor Steve Coll said the battle for Baghdad had begun. American forces were ‘‘80 kilometres from Baghdad’’. That’s where they were, reportedly, more than a week ago.