Training Day

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DAVID and Goliath. A well-targeted slingshot and a pocket-sized shepherd beat a Philistine giant. The shot, according to witnesses, burrowed a deep dent into the centre of the man’s forehead and rendered him unconscious long enough for David to chop his top off.

It’s an inspirational account for those of us who’ve been short-changed by genetics. As the 5’ 9” Sanjay Shetty’s obdurate forearm tightened around my windpipe, and without the Biblical slingshot, all I could manage was a watery smile and a few useless tugs. The impenetrable, shaggy-haired Shetty is a successful Mumbai-based ad film-maker who moonlights as a krav maga instructor. Krav maga, a battlefield-tested Israeli defence technique that lays special stress on fighting and self-defence skills, Shetty insists, will teach me how to get out of a death grip, even if the one doing the gripping is fortified like the Iron Curtain.

Krav maga’s good for a fight anywhere, anytime ethic is appropriate, considering that Shetty and I are rumble-tumbling on the floor of his central Mumbai production office, complete with nonchalant, hard-working staff.

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Over the years, this space has been an excuse for all sorts of antics, from riding a tonga to learning to juggle. I myself have tried flamenco, even engaged in a spurious photography session. But as Shetty curled his right fist around the pinky of his left arm (still wound around my neck) and showed me the simplest way to dislodge an attacker, I knew that finally the humiliating picture on the side would be worth it. So, when caught in a choke-hold, break his pinky—it’s the easiest finger to find if you’re attacked from the back and it’s within the reach of even the average five-footer.

The tag line of this multi-discipline system ominously reads: ‘If you want peace, prepare for war’. Developed in the 1930s by Jewish armyman Imi Lichtenfeld, krav maga is Hebrew for contact combat. It uses common sense moves like the pinky defence, especially to teach women to protect themselves without the aid of a knife, pepper spray, club, gun—or Kevin Costner. There are no rules; anything, even a kick in the balls counts.

MOVER SHAKER

• If attacked from behind, either break the attacker’s little finger or stamp his foot
• If a person has a gun to your head, trap the index finger in the trigger space
• If pinned down, elevate the hip and with force, jerk upwards
• If accosted from the front, either push hard against the nose cartilage or jab the assailant’s wind pipe
• The key is to attack the most vulnerable part of the attacker’s body

Thirty-four-year-old Shetty, a kickboxing champion and 22-year veteran of martial arts, is the first non-Israeli to win a world title in krav maga; the trophy confers on him the title of Lethal Fighter.

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‘‘It’s an instinctive form of defence. You can’t afford to waste time preparing to defend yourself,’’ says Shetty. A fine line of thought if you’re a big guy, but what if—as is likely when a woman is attacked—you’re pinned down under a hulk with the torment of his BO and weight crushing you into immobility. (Consider the facts: In New Delhi, there was a 20 per cent rise in rape cases in 2005, while Mumbai is the rape capital of Maharashtra.)

‘‘Come on top of me,’’ says Shetty. The next thing I know we’re in a highly embarrassing simulation. He responds to my impish strangulation by forming his palms into a namaste between my arms and prying them apart, while throwing me off with his legs. Surprisingly, it also works the other way around. The key is to dig your heels into the ground and jerk the body upwards in one swift motion so that the attacker will be thrown forwards and over. Easy logic that works, except, I imagine, if your attacker happens to be a Lethal Fighter too. If you want a demonstration without the benefit of straddling a hunk, watch J Lo in Enough or Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality.

According to Shetty, who trained with the Israeli army in Tel Aviv, when a fight gets physical, the trick is to crowd the attacker. As I punch his rock-hard chest, Shetty moves in so close that my fists barely have the space to unfurl. ‘‘The less space there is between you and the attacker, the less power there is in his fist or palm,’’ says the sensei. If that doesn’t work, jab a finger against the cartilage of the attacker’s nose. Believe me, it’ll hurt some.

It isn’t sexy, but Shetty assures me—and I feel like—krav maga has the power to get me out alive if I’m ever pinned down for real. Till then, I’ll keep my joints relaxed and my imagination active. David would have been proud.