The train of little thought

And while it’s extremely thoughtful to provide the emergency railway telephone numbers at Lucknow, Benares, Vadodra, Delhi it’s not very helpful since none know anything nor can they answer any queries about survivors, victims.

The numbers game is always tricky, so be conservative—you might just have killed off dozens who are alive. On Thursday morn, Zee News claimed that up to ‘‘80 people feared dead’’—roughly 60 more than the tally. Also, must we recreate the accident through pretty computer graphics, just because we can? Although you know what to expect, when the ‘toy’ train smashes into the other and flies off, your heart stops. Beating.

Lastly, this was not the occasion for Bollywood dialogues. Aaj Tak’s commentary with the graphic recreation ran, ‘‘…the collision was so tremendous the bogey chakka choor ho gaya”. Star News thought it appropriate to proclaim: ‘‘Kayee logon ko zindagi se haath dhona pada.’’

Onto no-no’s next time Musharraf meets Singh. Do not count handshakes, NDTV 24×7—it’s as pointless as counting sheep, unless the idea’s to put us to sleep. Focus not on said handshake all day (every channel did) because Vaj and Mush had great body language at Agra and look at what Mush said over breakfast to editors.

Don’t wear a shower cap in the Taj Hotel kitchen when everyone else is in a chef’s hat: You look out of place, which Aaj Tak’s Rahul Kanwal did in trying to discover Mush’s breakfast recipe. What can you read into his repast of orange juice and fruit, except that he’s had his quota of Vitamin C?

Don’t ask questions like DD’s anchor: Will we have some sort of announcement after the meeting between the two leaders?

Reporter Senthil: Perhaps some announcement will be made after the talks…

Don’t follow up with—Will we see defense CBMs because Senthil will reply: Perhaps they might like to move forward on military CBMs also. Under no circumstance, invite Mahesh Bhatt onto a programme. Ever. Again. And again. Why’s he at Jama Masjid (for India TV) talking to ‘the youth’ when he’s supposed to produce and direct films?

Don’t be obvious and mix cricket with politics on the day of a match (‘‘there is a new spin to Indo-Pak relations’’) because this is not about settling scores (yes it is) and because we make a habit of loosing to Pakistan from a winning position.

Advise experts to speak simple like they would to a child, to avoid statements like Manoj Joshi’s on NDTV’s We The People: ‘‘(There was) an aggregation of small incremental steps’’.

Resist technical tricks. When Star News’ Jyoti Malhotra reported on glitches in the joint statement etc., Sunday night, she was magnified onto a screen larger then the combined territories of India and Pakistan—and then partitioned into small blocks. This is no time for Hollywood Squares.

Don’t announce that the joint statement will be made at 10 a.m. as Aaj Tak did Monday when others say it is at 11 a.m—and it was. You might be sabse tezbut you are not sabse aage just because Mush said he had a change of heart because of your slogan (phir wahi dil laya…) Don’t describe the Singh-Mush meeting as ‘‘Both nations are walking the talk’’, NDTV Profit, since neither leader put his foot in his mouth.