The family will kill you if you set foot in village…

The panchayat’s verdict after two meetings was that the couple and the Singh family should be ostracised and thrown out of the area. This meant that besides Kakroi village, they would not be allowed to settle down in any of the 40 Jat-dominatedvillages.

On April 12, when Pushpalata’s mother visited her at the hostel in Hindu College, Sonepat — where the girl is studying her BA final year — it was clear that she was trying to warn her daughter. “The family has decided to kill you if you step into your village, so it is better if you go away somewhere,” she had reportedly told her daughter.

Pushpalata knew this was not an empty threat. “These kinds of cases, where the girl’s family kills the girl, often in front of thousands of people, are common in our community,” she says.

After her mother’s threat, she thought it best to leave town. It was also a nightmare for Mahender’s family, who had to shut their house and leave. His father was fined Rs 11,000 for not appearing before the panchayat.

The couple even alleges that Pushpalata’s family shot Mahender’s younger brother in the thigh. They reportedly came to Kakroi and tried to take Pushpalata away. Three cases under various sections have been slapped against Mahender, who is anadvocate.

“Before I decided to get married, I did not think that there would be so much opposition because Pushpalata’s family is quite educated. But the other villagers and relatives instigated them,” said Mahender.

However, a visit to the village revealed that most of the people support the panchayat’s decision. “This is absolutely right. We have to preserve our cast, gotra and village customs,” says Sukhbir Ran, a sarpanch from the village.

About 40 days ago, there was a similar incident in Simala village in Kaithal district, where a girl was reportedly strangled by her family members and the boy beaten to death because they were found to be distant relatives. No FIR was lodged.

In another case in Bhiwani district about four years ago, a hawaldar with the Haryana police was ostracised by a panchayat of 360 villages because he belonged to the Sangwan gotra and the girl to Punea. The village where the boy lived was dominated by Puneas, so that made the girl a daughter of thevillage. The villagers reportedly refused to see her as their daughter-in-law.

In most of these cases, the police and the administration are reportedly mute spectators. “What can the police do in front of a decision reached by a community?” asked one of the villagers.

“Imported laws cannot work. Because these ancient traditions are kept alive, the villagers are happier than their counterparts in the city,” said Angrez Singh, a resident of Kakaroi village.

Pushpalata has gone to the District Commissioner, the Superintendent of Police and the Sub-Divisional Magistrate, expressing fear that her life was in danger. “None of them have responded. The police force, which is Jat-dominated, is in cahoots with my family,” she alleged.

District Commissioner P K Mahapatra, when contacted, said: “We are prepared to give protection to the girl whenever she wants to come to Sonepat”.

While agreeing that although these strictures have no legal sanction and that they are common in the area, Sonepat SP S KSelvaraj said he was looking into the case.